Heel Holland Bakt talk #4

It’s that time again: every Sunday, we get to watch fumbling and flourishing home bakers in Heel Holland Bakt. From over-the-top signature bakes to the complicated technical challenge, I’m glued to the screen from the very first minute. What exactly goes through my head during an episode like that? I write it all down for you every week.

We’re sticking with the festive themes: this week it’s ‘happy New Year!’ I think I’m the only person in the Netherlands who doesn’t like oliebollen, so I’m very curious to see what kind of festive bakes we can expect. During the signature challenge, at least, there’s a festive champagne cake. Oof, that was an expensive practice week for the bakers.

I don’t like alcohol

And are there really multiple bakers saying they don’t like champagne? Student (!) Vincent doesn’t like alcohol at all? Are you freaking kidding me? What a fantastic challenge this is—all the cakes look so beautiful. It is a shame that the judges can taste champagne in almost none of them, not even in Maroeska’s, who put an entire bottle in her cake. Shocking: Kim’s 75 ml couldn’t be tasted either. As far as I’m concerned, Kim has also had her best time in the tent. Bye, Kim!

Pop, fizz, clink

Sorry, but that pop, fizz, clink on Cas’s cake—this is so delightful! And he’s deaf, good people, and yet he puts all those joyful sounds of a bottle of bubbly on his cake. When will Cas become star baker? Or my best friend? André is having a bit of trouble pronouncing churro cups, even though his Spanish is so excellent. Bakkers klaros, bakken maros. Haha, I love André.

Come on, Hanneke, if you don’t know what an anglaise is, you’re really immediately disqualified. And what on earth is Kim doing? She has some kind of lump in her pan where coffee mousse is supposed to be. I’m holding my breath. Oh God, those little dishes of Nicole’s—what a sight! I am surprised, though, that so many bakers pipe their batter on the outside after all. Impressive!

Drunk

I love how everyone comes covered in gold glitter all the time during these festive challenges. Heel Holland Bakt can be set in winter every year as far as I’m concerned. What kind of futuristic shape has Maroeska come up with this time? Did she design it herself, or is it just standard equipment in the kitchen? She also puts limoncello in her cake, and Anna adds a generous dose of rum. I’m already getting drunk while watching this episode. Wonderful. Cas simply puts apple fritters in his cake—I really don’t understand why he has never become star baker. What an incredible idea.

Vaginas

By the way, is it just me, or are there vaginas on Hanneke’s cake? Ah, I do feel sorry for blonde Kim. “Basically, everything that could go wrong went wrong.” I’m afraid that means an exit. Yes, there you go—she has to leave the tent. And all those tears, poor sweetheart. Oh dear, next week’s theme is savoury. That often means extra fumbling because the bakers can’t cook at all. Yes, I’m already looking forward to it!