Emma’s food frustrations: the bitterball ratio
I eat often, a lot and with great pleasure, and then I regularly notice things. Often they’re positive things, but it also frequently happens that something irritates me endlessly. Whether that’s justified or not, sometimes I just need to vent. Hence this column: Emma’s food frustrations, this time featuring a major terrace frustration: the number of bitterballen never matches the number of people.
Bitterballen, yes, or cheese sticks, or actually all the snacks you suddenly order a whole lot of when you’re sitting on a terrace with a beer in your hand and the sun on your face. Especially when you’re with an odd number of people, you’re entering the danger zone. With three people, you’re usually still safe, but how do you divide six bitterballen among five people? Who has the greatest right to that last ball? Is it the person with a broken heart or someone who’s just had a shitty day at work? Or don’t you even have time to think about it because the glutton in the group has already shoved the last one into their mouth?
Seven cheese sticks
Recently, I thought I was being clever by settling down on the terrace with just the two of us. Suddenly we got seven (!!) cheese sticks. What the fuck? Unless you’re actually with seven people, this is never a good number. You understand, this is a huge problem. Sushi, on the other hand, always comes in threes, but what if there are four of you? Sure, you can say: ‘You guys go ahead and eat, I’ll just have some in the next round.’ Polite, as you are. But how long will it take for that next round to arrive at the table? Let’s be honest, you just want to pop that California roll straight into your mouth as soon as you see it, right?
No one goes home crying
So I really do have a great idea. What if every café or restaurant listed on the menu how many pieces come in a portion of bitterballen or sushi, and gave you the option to order individual pieces? A minimum portion that you could expand to the ideal size, so no one has to share, no one has to cry and everyone goes home happy. You’re welcome, hospitality industry.
