Etiquette for Sharing Food
Whether it’s on a first date or with friends you’ve known for a hundred years. Whether you’ve all ordered your own dish or you’re having a shared dining evening. The subject of sharing food can be a sensitive one. Want to make sure you get invited again next time? Then follow these rules.
1. The first bite
If you’ve both ordered your own dish at a restaurant: always let someone take a bite of their own food first, before you even think about looking at the other person’s plate. Only once someone has eaten some of every component on their plate may you ask if you could perhaps have a bite. That brings me to the following.
2. Ask + wait
You never take food from someone’s plate without asking. If the moment feels right, ask if you may have a bite and actually wait for the answer. So don’t ask for permission while those fries are already almost in your mouth. Do they say yes? Then you are also obliged to share a bite of your food. That’s just how it works.
3. Dare to say no
Are you craving what you just ordered the most, starving or simply not in the mood to share for another reason? Dare to say no. You don’t want to harbor years of resentment because your friend ate a green bean from your plate on your first date, while you actually wanted to save it for yourself.
4. Don’t order it = don’t eat it
Not ordering fries, nachos or bitterballen but eating them when they’re put on the table is unacceptable. As soon as you’ve said “I don’t want anything,” you’ve waved goodbye to all rights to shared food. Still unable to resist the temptation? Then offer to order an extra portion, so your dining companions don’t leave the table unsatisfied.
5. Fries
Fries get their own heading, since this dish causes the biggest sharing disputes. All of the above information still applies, with a few small side notes. With fries, you should basically never take any until the owner offers them spontaneously. As soon as you start grabbing, the rest of your dining companions see it as a green light too, leaving the person who ordered the fries looking bewildered.
I should also say that not everyone always follows etiquette. Are you the one ordering fries? Then always assume that you’ll lose at least one-third to impolite fellow diners. No matter how much you want to keep your fries to yourself, the moment you order them you’re basically saying: “Please eat along with me.” You’ll just have to accept that.
6. Be sociable
There are twelve bitterballen and four people? You can do the math. Three each, unless someone indicates they want fewer. You don’t have to count every nacho or every slice of sausage, but as soon as shared food is placed in front of you, you know perfectly well roughly how much you’re entitled to. Sharing is caring, so hold back a little.
7. Adjust your pace
Once again, not everyone behaves as impeccably as you do, so you also need to look after yourself a little. Adjust your pace to the speed at which the group is eating. Is it very slow? Then take it easy too (see number 6). Are hands moving toward the table so quickly that you can barely see them? Then it’s time for you to shift into a higher gear too, otherwise you’ll soon be left without food.
Can’t you really keep up? Then make yourself a small plate with all your favorites and eat it at your leisure. The principle of save the best for last, which I always follow, doesn’t apply in this setting. If you do that, there’s a good chance someone else will run off with your highly coveted bites.
8. Don’t double dip
This depends somewhat on who you’re with. With close friends or family, I don’t really mind who has touched which piece of food. But as a rule, follow don’t double dip. Just dipped a breadstick into the chili sauce and bitten a piece off? Don’t dip the part your mouth has touched back into the sauce. That way, people with germophobia at the table won’t have a heart attack.
Also don’t run your fingers extensively over all the cheese cubes before choosing one to put in your mouth. And don’t take a bite from someone’s hamburger either—or do, but cut it off with a knife and fork. That way, you prevent someone from taking a bite of your saliva later.
9. The last piece
Perhaps the most sensitive subject of all: who gets the last piece? Let’s establish first that if you want to be this person, you have to stand up for yourself. Nothing is worse than a piece of pizza slowly turning cold because nobody dares to take it. Want to go for the last piece? First ask whether anyone else is interested too. If so, I’m afraid you’ll have to share.
Still can’t come to an agreement? Then the piece goes to whoever has eaten the least up to that point. Does someone say they’ve eaten four pieces, while you’ve eaten five? Lie, and say you’ve only had three. Bring on that last slice.
Also read:
