I’m Going Paranoid About the Best-Before Date
Adeline loves food, a lot and often, both at home and out. Usually, that goes well, but sometimes it doesn’t. This time, it’s because of the best-before date. Adeline: ‘The difference between “best before” and “use by” can make or completely ruin Leftovers Day.’
Leftovers Day: from chaos to culinary feast
On Sundays, we eat whatever is still left to eat. I know people who have fond memories of Leftovers Day; I’m not one of them. In our house, Leftovers Day meant that there was actually nothing left in the house, but we still had to eat.
Not so with my other half. There, Leftovers Day is a spectacular event. You go from a divine leftover prawn dish accompanied by homemade tarragon mayo to a combination of lamb chops and entrecôte, and then straight into the chocolate mousse. In that case, you’re doing just fine with that best-before date, and I can understand why you’re a fan of leftovers.
There’s something fishy about it
My lack of enthusiasm for Leftovers Day doesn’t combine well with my paranoia about expiration dates, turning that best-before date into a true obsession. What exactly does the final day mean? When can you still consume something without risk? The difference between “best before” and “use by” is subtle but crucial. Ignore it and you risk food poisoning; be too fanatical and you throw away perfectly good leftovers.
And when someone starts shouting that I should smell food to decide for myself whether something is still edible (pardon my language), I could swear there’s something fishy about everything. From the lettuce to the quark and the well-done chicken.
Do I have food poisoning?!
If I doubt whether food is edible but eat it anyway out of a sense of duty, I anxiously monitor my stomach for hours, because I’ve heard that food poisoning shows up within four hours. Not that I’ve ever had it, by the way; I just don’t know whether that’s because I’m so careful about dates or because something was still perfectly fine to eat and I’m simply being dramatic.
Paranoia about shelf life
The point is that, when you lack a decent Leftovers Day and combine that with paranoia about shelf life, you become the living nightmare of everyone who hates waste. Coincidentally, that person is me, which makes for one seriously fucked-up combination. In theory, I want to be the do-gooder who never throws anything in the bin, but in practice, at the first sign of wilted lettuce, I shove the entire bag into the trash. It’s a constant battle between common sense, a love of food and the best-before date.
A warped best-before mindset
But I’m taking on a challenge: I’m going to Marie Kondo my kitchen. This is a double challenge, because this woman and her methods always really get on my nerves. To Marie Kondo your kitchen is my loose translation for becoming a decluttering fanatic or food-preservation guru. That, I’m actually open to.
I’m also introducing Leftovers Day, where we actually have leftovers in the house. On the last day before grocery shopping, everything still in the house must be turned into something vaguely culinary—baked, roasted, steamed or stewed.
Could my warped best-before mindset actually turn me into a true food-preservation guru? Just to be safe, I’ll reorganize my fridge based on “best before” and “use by.”
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