Our Man in the Province Wanted to Eat Seven Michelin Stars
He ate out several times a week, always searching for the tastiest herring, most enjoyable wine, juiciest hamburger or best meat thermometer. But almost a year ago, journalist Marcel Langedijk swapped Amsterdam for the Province. Can a lover of better food and drink manage to hold out there? This week, he went looking for mood-boosting food in Giethoorn.
So there I was in Giethoorn the other day. You have to do something with your Sundays in the province, and since my much-discussed transfer from Amsterdam, Giethoorn has been practically around the corner. Besides, it was grey, gloomy, rainy, rotten weather, and that means the now world-famous village is empty. The wagonloads of mostly Asian tourists are playing it safe at this time of year, dragging wheeled suitcases and wielding selfie sticks in Amsterdam, leaving you, as an almost-local, free rein in the ‘Venice of the North’. I ran into a group of South Americans – confused looks, practically hypothermic due to wearing too few clothes – and exactly one sightseeing boat sailed past, carrying three Asian tourists and a thoroughly bad-tempered captain who announced over the microphone that ‘on the left you see some very typical Giethoornish houses’.
That was it. Not another punt or whisper boat to be seen in the little canals, and the cycle slash footpaths were deserted. There isn’t much else to do besides think deep thoughts and look for something to drink or eat in the village.
Loveless and Rather Expensive
Finding something to drink or eat is quite a challenge, because Giethoorn does not exactly rely on its sublime dining establishments. If they are even open at this time of year. Café Fanfare was, I noticed, the place that owes its fame to Bert Haanstra’s eponymous and ridiculously successful film – 2.6 million people saw it, making it, after Turkish Delight, still the most-watched film in our country. The film helped turn Giethoorn into a hit with tourists from the Netherlands itself – later followed by foreigners. The film dates from 1958 and, although amusing, is hopelessly dated. The restaurant has moved with the times, sort of, but the last two times I ate there, it was mostly a lot of food, lovelessly prepared and rather expensive – the disease that afflicts practically every tourist trap.
That was in the height of summer, though, and absurdly busy, so I’ll give it another try during the quiet winter season.
Seven (!) Michelin Stars
Diagonally opposite Fanfare is Fratelli, where years ago, shortly after they opened, I ate some perfectly decent value-for-money pasta, but which has since also had to contend with (overly) busy springs and summers that do nothing to improve the quality of what is served. Before the locals drive me out of the village covered in tar and feathers: it’s not all terribly bad in Giethoorn. It’s manageable, it’s nourishing, but it isn’t mood-boosting and certainly not exceptional. Which is a shame, and almost makes you forget that Giethoorn was more or less the birthplace of no fewer than seven (!) Michelin stars. Three belonging to Giethoorn-born Jonnie Boer, two to Martin Kruithof’s De Lindenhof, based in Giethoorn, and two to Jarno Eggens’s De Groene Lantaarn (recently relocated to Staphorst), who once worked for Kruithof. Perhaps those men should come and give a masterclass to raise the bar. And for God’s sake, let them bring their wives too, to show what customer service and hospitality look like.
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