Why you should never go out for dinner on your first date

Going out for dinner on a first date? Never do it, if you ask our colleague Ella from Amayzine. Ella: ‘The thought of someone sitting across from you at the table and watching you attentively—doesn’t that only make you even more nervous? As if it isn’t stressful enough to keep the conversation going; during the meal, you also have to pay attention to your manners.’ Just give Ella a glass of wine in a cozy bar. But apparently, many people think differently about this.

First dates

Still, a restaurant is a very popular place for a first date. I can still remember clearly that I had my first date with my beloved in an Italian restaurant. Of course, I didn’t agree with this (I would rather have gone somewhere for a drink), but he had already arranged it, so it was difficult for me to get out of it. Well, at first I couldn’t get a single bite down, and when I finally tried to serve myself some spaghetti, the entire plate was wrapped around my fork in no time. ‘Are you managing?’ he teased. Then all kinds of people also came to our table (uninvited) to introduce themselves. I thought it was awful.

So what should you do?

Luckily, Denise Janmaat, dating coach and founder of the first Dutch dating site, completely agrees with me. According to her, going out for dinner on a first date is a no-go in any case. I quote: ‘Going out for dinner is quite static and quickly becomes awkward. If there’s a silence, you immediately experience it as a painful moment.’ This is exactly what it is.

But what should you do on a first date instead? According to Janmaat, it’s better to choose an activity such as walking, playing miniature golf or pedal boating. In that kind of setting, it’s much less awkward if things go quiet for a moment. To be honest: I really can’t imagine going pedal boating, but I do think a walk on the beach is a romantic idea. Have you and your date survived several activities like these together? Then you can perfectly well go out for dinner together. A small tip from Janmaat: choose something casual and accessible, such as a grand café, where there is often more activity. Those elegant and formal Michelin-starred restaurants will come naturally once things start getting serious.

A day at Efteling

According to research, what is the very, very, very best place for a first date? The amusement park. Apparently, all the thrilling rides cause you to produce hormones that make you feel euphoric. These are the same hormones your body produces when you are madly in love. That sounds promising.

So go ahead and swap that first date at the restaurant for a day at Efteling.

Also read:

• Recipe: the tastiest gado-gado to impress your date
• Dining etiquette for your (first) date
• 5 dining dilemmas on a first date