9 golden rules for sharing food
Whether it’s on a first date or with your family. Whether you’ve chosen your own dish or filled the table with dishes to share. The subject of sharing food is often a sensitive one. Want to make sure you’re invited again next time? Then stick to these golden rules.
1. The first bite
Are you both ordering your own dish? Always let someone take a bite of their own food first, before you even think about looking at the other person’s plate. Only once someone has eaten some of every component on their plate may you ask if you might possibly have a bite. Which brings me to the following.
How to make the ultimate cacio e pepe
2. Ask + wait
You never take food from someone’s plate without asking. If the moment feels right, ask if you may have a bite. One very important step that is often skipped: actually wait for the answer. So don’t ask for permission while those fries are already almost in your mouth. Does the other person say yes? Then you are also obliged to share a bite of your food. That’s just how it works.
3. Dare to say no
Have you been looking forward to your meal all day, are you hangry or simply not in the mood to share for another reason? Dare to say no. You don’t want to nurse a years-long grudge because your boyfriend or girlfriend ate a green bean from your plate on your first date, while you actually wanted to save it for yourself.
4. Don’t order it = don’t eat it
Not ordering fries, nachos or bitterballen but eating them when they’re put on the table is unacceptable. As soon as you’ve said the words “I don’t need anything,” you give up all rights to shared food. Still unable to resist the temptation? Then order an extra portion at the very least.
5. Fries
Fries get their own heading, since this dish causes the biggest fuss. All of the above information still applies, with a few minor caveats. When it comes to fries, you should actually never take any until the owner offers them spontaneously. Because as soon as you start grabbing, the rest of your tablemates see it as a green light too, leaving the person who ordered the fries stunned.
I should also prepare you for the fact that not everyone always follows etiquette. Are you the one ordering fries? Then always assume that you’ll lose at least a third to impolite fellow diners. No matter how much you want to keep your fries to yourself, the moment you order them you’re essentially saying: “Please eat them with me.” Sorry.
6. Be sociable
Are there twelve bitterballen and four people? Do the math. Everyone gets three, unless someone says they want fewer. You don’t have to count every nacho or every slice of sausage, but don’t eat the entire platter by yourself. Sharing is caring, show a little restraint.
7. Adjust your pace
Adjust your pace to the group. Is everyone eating very slowly? Then take it a little easy yourself too (see number 6). That said, not everyone behaves as exemplary as you do, and you do need to look after yourself a little. Are hands moving toward the table so quickly that you can barely see them? Then it’s time for you to shift into a higher gear too, otherwise you’ll soon be left without any food.
The principle of save the best for last, which I always follow, doesn’t apply when sharing. If you do that, there’s a good chance someone else will run off with your much-coveted bites. Can’t really keep up with the pace? Then make yourself a small plate in advance with all your favorites on it, and eat them at your leisure.
8. Don’t double dip
This one depends a little on who you’re with. I personally don’t care one bit, but some people associate sharing food with dirty fingers and other people’s bacteria. So as a general rule, follow don’t double dip. Just dipped a cheese stick in the chili sauce and then bitten into it? Don’t put the part your mouth touched back into the sauce (the other side is fine). That way, people with a fear of germs at the table won’t have a heart attack.
Also don’t thoroughly feel around all the cheese cubes with your fingers before choosing one to put in your mouth. And don’t take a bite of someone else’s hamburger either—or do, but cut it off with a knife and fork. That way, you prevent someone from having to take a bite through your saliva later.
9. The last piece
Perhaps the most sensitive subject of all: who takes the last piece? Let’s establish up front that if you want to be this person, you need to stand up for yourself. There’s nothing worse than a piece of pizza going cold because nobody dares to take it. Want to go for the last piece? First ask if anyone else is interested. If so, I’m afraid you’ll have to share.
Still can’t reach an agreement? Then the piece goes to whoever has eaten the least. Does someone say they’ve had four pieces and you’ve eaten five? Lie and say you’ve had three. Bring on that last slice.
