The Most Bizarre Restaurant Review
During my student days, I had the best part-time job ever. I was allowed to moderate reviews for the IENS website. It was years ago by now, but the most bizarre review is still etched into my memory to this day.
Every review submitted to IENS (since acquired by TheFork) first had to pass through me or my colleagues. Unfortunately, rejecting a review wasn’t an option just because I disagreed with it. So I had to publish reviews saying that ‘the spareribs weren’t good because they fell completely off the bone’. They could only be removed if, for example, abusive language was used or fraud was suspected. You wouldn’t believe how many restaurants tried to post a pile of good reviews for themselves, or bad reviews for their competitors. Not under my watch!
Judgemental foodlover
You can imagine that this was the ideal part-time job for me—the judgemental foodlover that I am. Reviews from people who thought the meat of their côte de boeuf was too fatty, followed by a restaurateur responding super sarcastically and quite rightly with: “What a shame you don’t like côte de boeuf.” I couldn’t have been happier. However, the most memorable review had absolutely nothing to do with the quality of the food. Instead, an ambulance was involved.
Angry restaurateurs
Besides moderating reviews, I also had to answer the phone. Often, these were angry restaurateurs who wanted us to remove negative reviews from the site. Of course, we didn’t, but it did mean I was used to quite a lot. Even so, I was flabbergasted when an angry restaurateur called me with a truly bizarre story. He wanted a review removed from a guest whose head had been hit by a plate that had fallen and shattered, but who had then been made to pay the entire bill. What?
Search carefully
Just imagine! You’ve just eaten a delicious main course, the waiter comes to clear the plates, and drops one on your head! It doesn’t get much crazier than that, does it? The plate split in two, an ambulance was called, but you were still expected to pay the full bill. Isn’t that the most bizarre thing you’ve ever heard? I’m not going to tell you which restaurant it was, but I didn’t remove the review. Back when IENS still existed, I always said: ‘if you search carefully, you might still be able to find it. Hint: the closer you get to Amsterdam’s Jordaan district, the warmer you are’…
