Bloody irritating: those uneven portions in restaurants and cafés
Adeline (nickname: Eddie) loves eating, a lot and often, both at home and out. Usually, that goes well, but sometimes it doesn’t. In the series Eddie’s food frustrations, you can read about the latter. This time: the terror of odd-numbered portions of bitterballen in restaurants and cafés.
My standard number when eating out is usually two or four. Three on rare occasions, and otherwise we’re usually with six or more, by which point it doesn’t really matter anymore. But almost 90 percent of the time, I’m mainly just a little fucked. Before this turns into a complicated calculation without any explanation, a bit like math class back in the day, let me explain this precarious issue to you.
Because for the love of god, why are the numbers always odd?
The commandment of three
Restaurants have this irritating habit of working with odd numbers. So you get seven or nine bitterballen (and sauce for four), or you go for some nice shared dining and the commandment of three suddenly rears its head. I honestly have no idea where it comes from, by the way, but it may be even worse than the odd-numbered bitterbal.
There you are, happily sharing with two or four people, and you either have to order twice as much—which still doesn’t work out conveniently—or start cutting things up. The whole concept of shared dining is that snacks are absolutely never designed to be cut, and there you have it.
Because who gets more, who has to make do with less, or who is left with a few chopped-up crumbs?
Even numbers
Of course I understand that somewhere in the box of bitterballen you have to draw the line, but I’m pleading for even numbers. With six, eight, or ten bitterballen, you simply make people happier. Even numbers are just so easy to multiply. Something that never works with an odd portion of cheese sticks. And if you think people are going to fight over the last piece of brown fruit, then adjust the number.
No one is going to nitpick over one bitterbal more or less. It could all be so simple.
Odd little ball
In the case of shared dining, just charge per piece and put in the small print that they can only be ordered in pairs. I do understand that you like making your pinchos in multiples, so I don’t want to put you through that individual awkwardness. Just as you shouldn’t put the people at the table through it. No one at the table wants a stare down over the last oyster (impossible to cut), bruschetta (impossible to cut), or bitterbal (too hot to cut).
One more thing about that last odd bitterbal, because I do have a solution for it. I always just shout, ‘I’ll take the dog out,’ and then dive for the last remaining odd little ball. You can see that in me too, but someone has to do it.
Also read:
- 8x the biggest blunders by restaurant staff
- 10 incredibly irritating things everyone in the hospitality industry recognizes
- These are restaurant staff’s favorite late-night snacks
