Eddie’s food annoyances: the battle with cling film

Adeline (nickname: Eddie) loves food, lots of it and often, both at home and out. Usually, that goes well, but sometimes it doesn’t. In the series Eddie’s food annoyances you can read about the latter. This time: the eternal battle with cling film.

Back when I worked in the hospitality industry (and everything was still simply open), I often heard the sous-chef shouting very loudly: “Let me go, let me go, let me go.” You might think someone was holding him in an impossible wrestling hold, but no. He was shouting this at the cling film, and if you use this particular film, you know it’s true.

Fierce foiling

Cling film is the devil in the kitchen. The roll looks innocent in that cardboard jacket, but it is anything but. If you’re unlucky, you end up with an extra-large amount of film and 50 metres of dull, rolled-up misery. It seems as if the film was specially designed to grab everyone who touches it and never let go again. It sticks to everything it shouldn’t stick to, including itself. And the plastic routinely crumples exactly where it especially shouldn’t.

The annoying thing is that you (I) mainly use cling film to wrap something properly. As in: tightly, smoothly and without wrinkles or air bubbles. This is simply impossible. If you pull the film too hard, it tears off, while it really never tears along the serrated edge where it is supposed to tear, and if it’s too loose, it’s pathetically wrapped. The damn film cannot be forced into submission.

What if it actually works?

Since we’re talking about tearing it, may the inventor of this pathetic serrated edge spend the rest of his/her life tearing little pieces of film along these edges? Please and thank you? With a bit of luck, it starts well, even though the plastic stretches a petit peu; with neurotic precision, you cautiously try to guide it along the edge, but no. It never works. Out of frustration, you do it quickly, but sadly. Then pull hard on the film? No luck there either. It is physically impossible for a human being to tear plastic along the edge. As a last resort, I’ve tried using scissors, but I’d actually rather not talk about that at all.

In the freezer

This week I heard someone say that you should put the roll in the freezer. I think that’s a particularly impractical place for a roll of cling film, but what if? What if this actually works? Ever since hearing about this possible solution, I’ve dreamed of plastic that rolls off the roll with ease and slides along the edge like a knife through butter. Just imagine…

Cling film is also the reason I always rely on the kindness of aluminium foil. But recently I found out that the two sides of aluminium foil really do each serve a purpose, and now that roll isn’t quite what it used to be either.

Also read:

• Eddie’s food annoyances: those people who don’t like anything
• Why some people shouldn’t be allowed to use a self-checkout
• The grossest dining scene ever in a restaurant