Eddie’s food annoyances: when all the wasps descend on your food on the terrace

Adeline loves food, a lot of it and often, both at home and outdoors. Usually that goes well, but sometimes it doesn’t. In the Sunday Roast series, she shares her observations. This time: those damn wasps on your food and drink.

I can say with certainty that there are moments on the terrace when my other half would rather be with someone else. It starts around the point when I stiffen up and stare wide-eyed at my plate, after which I suddenly jump up and run back and forth wildly, waving my arms without a shred of embarrassment. He always half-hisses at me to sit down. The age of the wasp is upon us again, and sometimes my boyfriend would rather eat with the wasp in question from my plate than with me.

Disguised little terrorists

It’s a seasonal problem, thank God, because I can’t cope with this for more than two months a year. You could say now: Girl, there are bigger problems in the world. Which is absolutely true, but wasps in your wine, wasps on your perfectly cooked steak, wasps buzzing in your face and wasps targeting your dessert are simply annoying. What am I saying? They’re little terrorists disguised in a black-and-yellow-striped jacket, throwing themselves on all your delicacies without mercy. And attacking you mercilessly when you try to reclaim your food.

I therefore find it pretty damn annoying that Mother Nature decided that all wasps become unemployed in August. It does make you understand them a little, in a way. If I didn’t have to work and the weather was nice, I’d also prefer to eat and drink on a terrace with my derrière parked in a chair. The only difference is that I wouldn’t sit on someone’s plate, although I may have helped myself to someone else’s drink once or twice. But we won’t talk about that anymore.

Hounded by evil

The annoying thing is that those black-and-yellow-skirted attackers go for everything I like too. A piece of meat cooked to perfection? Wasps. A brownie smothered in white chocolate sauce (I might as well spoon up something divine)? Wasps. A delicious glass of white wine? Wasps. But they do hate fresh mint tea. Hellooo, that’s absolutely no use when you’re well deservedly lazing in the sun.

So that means waving mint around all day while drinking tequila with lemon. Apparently they also hate lemons. Although I’d swear they can suddenly appreciate a shot too. The buzzing bastards. By the way, let’s agree not to laugh at people running around on a terrace with their arms waving; they’re simply being pursued by evil with wings.

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