Eddie’s food frustrations: diagonal rain and force 10 winds on the terrace

Adeline (nickname: Eddie) loves eating, a lot and often, both at home and out. It usually goes well, but sometimes it doesn’t. In the series Eddie’s food frustrations you can read about the latter. This time: the—erm—terrace weather.

What on earth does the weather have to do with food and my frustrations? Right now: EVERYTHING. I just ate a Caesar Salad outside on the terrace, with leaves from some unidentified tree further down the street, as well as my own hair.

Hair in my salad

The leaves blew through the Kattegat ten at a time and, with at least force 6 winds, into my little salad bowl, where my hair then cheerfully fluttered along, straight through the anchovies. And you don’t want that, because a Caesar should simply contain romaine, not tree leaves and certainly not hair. For-f***’s-sake, even if it is my own.

Patio heater under my armpit

My first time going out for drinks—I can say it was food now, but it was simply drinks—also falls into the turbulent category. I had to cling to my wine glass with everything I had, otherwise my full-bodied, fatty Chardonnay would have flown over the neighbours’ table. It was cold too, the kind of cold that calls for wearing a sleeping-bag jacket. I was sitting on a sheepskin, a fleece blanket wrapped around my legs, the heater practically singeing off my top hairs, and a second patio heater clamped under my armpit. That cold.

Bouncing rain

Then there was the rain, which fell when I was playing terrace roulette last week. At exactly 12 o’clock, I was pulling at a chair at my regular pub. I took up position with the plan of never moving again. An hour later, it started pouring—proper diagonal rain. I was high and dry under the awning, so who could do anything to me, my beer and my bitterbal (eat your heart out Rutte).

Until the awning sagged dangerously and, like a watering can, drenched everyone sitting at the edge of the terrace. Luckily, I only had to contend with some rain bouncing up from the ground, but still: it was rain. On the terrace. And it was pretty miserable for the people on that edge.

Hooray for the (wet) reopening

So, weather gods, are you reading this? I suggest you give us a break and start being kind to us. We can handle the cold, but diagonal rain assaulting us under awnings and winds so strong that the wine blows out of your glass is going too far. This is exactly what we don’t need for this reopening. Of course, I really should stop complaining, because I thank God on my bare knees that I can and may eat and drink out again. Even if the weather is absolutely dreadful.

Also read:

• Eddie’s Food Frustrations: eating food from the microwave
• Eddie’s food frustrations: can we please stop sharing food?!
• Eddie’s food frustrations: eating a boiled egg in public