Eddie’s food pet peeves: microwave meals
Adeline (nickname: Eddie) loves eating, a lot and often, both at home and out. Usually, that goes well, but sometimes it doesn’t. In the series Eddie’s food pet peeves , you’ll read about the latter. This time: microwave meals.
I used to do it too. I’d just pop one of those plastic containers of kale and mashed potatoes in the microwave, simply because it was ready so quickly and I didn’t have to move in the meantime. Is that where the expression ‘done in a jiffy’ comes from, by the way? It wouldn’t surprise me.
It’s not true!
But when you think about it, it’s actually quite remarkable that everyone ate this kind of meal so easily. Or do they still? Take a square appliance that emits radiation, put prepared food in it whose nutritional value has been completely squeezed out, and eat it. Oh, and to make matters worse, this junk was also in a plastic container that can easily withstand the appliance’s radiation. If you had told someone this in the past, they wouldn’t have believed you.
Everything’s wet
I’m not even that upset about heating things with radiation, you know; I am a millennial, after all. Nothing modern and unhealthy is unfamiliar to me. In ten years, I’ll probably be eating steak from a 3D printer too. But what really bothers me is that basically everything feels wet after a spin in the microwave. Which is fine, as long as it’s soup or milk you’re heating up.
A spin in the microwave
Besides becoming wet, everything also goes limp in the microwave. If you want to defrost a slice of bread, you can’t take your eyes off it for a second. So you end up watching a slice of bread rotating in the microwave for about twenty-five seconds (timing is crucial). Otherwise, you get a slightly too warm, slightly too limp and perhaps even wet slice of bread.
Kale and sausage? Wet and limp. Macaroni and cheese? Moist and limp. An unknown substance passing for stew? A puddle. A lovely crispy pizza from the freezer aisle? Nothing crispy about it. You get where I’m going. What I’m saying is that no food group tastes better after a spin in the microwave.
Cherry-pit heating pad
I actually only miss the microwave for three things. Heating up my cherry-pit heating pad—I’m an old woman. Steaming my runner beans, because that’s just ridiculously easy. And that soggy slice of bread with melted cheese. For the latter, once a year I commandeer someone else’s microwave to heat up a wet, radioactive cheese sandwich, just for old times sake.
Read also:
- Eddie’s food pet peeves: can we stop sharing food for a minute?!
- Eddie’s food pet peeves: eating a boiled egg in public
- Eddie’s food pet peeves: that layer of water at the bottom of the fridge
