Heel Holland Bakt Talk #1

It’s that time again: every Sunday, we get to watch fumbling and flourishing home bakers on Heel Holland Bakt. From over-the-top signature bakes to the complicated technical challenge, I’m glued to the screen from the very first minute. What exactly goes through my head during an episode like that? I’ll write it down for you every week.

This season, we’re starting with no fewer than 500 home bakers instead of ten. Jesus, that’s a lot of cakes. How many calories would that be altogether? And I get that everyone wants to do their best to make a beautiful cake, but there is such a thing as overdoing it. Mr. “I don’t like black and white, but colour to make life more fun.” I get it, but are all those flowers on your cake really necessary? And how long were you working on it? “Do you want to know the honest truth? A long time.” Erm, so we still don’t know, do we?

Fairy cake?

And what’s up with that fairy cake that lights up and makes sounds? What are all those fairies actually going to add to the flavour of your bake? She herself also looks a bit like a fairy, by the way. Elly has made the first cake I’m genuinely impressed by. A white espresso bavarois with macarons and a caramelised base, finished with nuts and white chocolate. Understated and beautiful, I love it. Elly is also an absolute sweetheart. I’m rooting for her!

Operation

Okay, someone has even made an entire operation. I love organ meat, but this doesn’t look particularly appetising. How long does everyone have to stand out there in the rain, by the way? With an umbrella and a heavy cake in one arm? My arm is already cramping just looking at it; no wonder half of them drop their cakes too. I can barely watch. Is it 2015 again, by the way? I see macarons on every cake.

Utter failure

Ah, now the real work begins and we get two outdoor-baking challenges. Oh my God, I’ve never seen anyone as nervous as Hanneke, haha, her face!! I’d probably look like that too, I think. I would fail spectacularly at this challenge. What would actually happen to all these fifteen piped cakes?

Sweety and meaty

Time for flammkuchen. What a shame; I always prefer sweet challenges, everyone is better at those anyway. Is anyone else sometimes finding those cutesy names for the creations a bit over the top? “Sweety and meaty at the same time?” Okay, fine, Hanneke. I think Hanneke is definitely the person I’m going to get most annoyed with this season. Her reaction when the jury likes her flammkuchen: “Well, hehe!” How old were you again? 35?

Next week

The aprons are handed out. It’s so lovely that the interpreter keeps popping up again the whole time. Luckily, Cas made it through too, so hopefully she’ll be back next week as well. Sadly, without my girl Elly. Fortunately, I do see a whole lot of collapsed cakes in next week’s preview. Then things will finally get really exciting. See you then!

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