Real life: my boyfriend ALWAYS wants to split the bill
It was love at first sight when Lieve met Bas at the bar of climbing gym Be Boulder. By now, they have climbed quite a few walls together and had quite a few drinks. But one thing is starting to annoy Lieve more and more: after six years together, Bas still wants to split every bill. ‘Even two cappuccinos get split down the middle.’
‘”If that’s the only thing, why are you making such a fuss”, a friend said recently when I was complaining. But still. I just find it really strange that he never pays for my drink. Isn’t that also a sign of affection?’
Shared passion
They don’t live together because Bas’s job, with lots of night shifts, makes that impractical at the moment, but they are together every weekend. And when Bas’s work schedule allows it, they climb twice a week as well. ‘We enjoy bouldering different routes; it’s truly a shared passion.’ And after a climbing session like that, they often stay for a drink. They also regularly grab something to eat at the climbing gym.
Friendly
Although it was love at first sight, the relationship started as a friendship. Bas had just started a new job and, because of his work schedule and the intensity of the work, he tried to curb his infatuation. He really wanted to focus on his job. ‘And yes, in a friendship, splitting the bill is of course completely normal. But you can’t hold back falling in love, so before long we were also ‘bouldering’ in bed.’
Refreshing
The friendship became a relationship—and what a relationship. Lieve adores Bas, and vice versa. Yet the flutter she feels when the bill arrives is increasingly turning into a persistent itch. ‘Because why doesn’t Bas just pay for my drink every now and then?’ Somehow, it’s an unspoken subject. They share the costs of holidays, the rental car, groceries and bouldering, so yes: also the drinks and meals out. It just became the norm.
And at first, Lieve thought it was perfectly normal too. More than that: actually quite refreshing. Because why should a man have to pay for you?
A payment request
Established patterns are difficult to break, but Lieve—conflict-avoidant by nature—recently made an attempt. A bit of a cowardly one, perhaps, but still. She asked for the bill at the bar, two soft drinks and some nuts—and went to the toilet. She stayed there a little longer than strictly necessary, and when she returned, he had already paid. She felt relieved; so it was possible! She gave him an extra-long kiss when they walked outside. Bas dropped Lieve off at her own house, only to go to work not long afterwards.
A few hours later, Lieve received a payment request. ‘1 cola and half the nuts’ x.
Lieve’s name has been changed for privacy reasons. Her real name is known to the editors. Would you also like to share a personal story (anonymously!)? You can email us at info@favorflav.com
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