When a trip around an unfamiliar supermarket makes you want to stay indoors for the rest of the day
“I went to an unfamiliar supermarket recently and it was the most fun outing I’ve had in AGES,” FavorFlav’s Sabina enthused in the editorial team group chat. There was approving (digital) cheering. And then I had to admit: that sounds like one of the worst things you could do to me. Why?
Because what could possibly not be fun about gawking at a different selection than the one you can more or less navigate in your sleep, from peanut butter to the cat food layout? Sabina had even found a magazine about chickens! Well, I admitted hesitantly… I simply can’t stand not knowing exactly where I can find something. Huh?! everyone said…
A Screw Loose
Here’s the thing. I’m fairly easily distracted, and also pretty curious (in case you were thinking the exact opposite). So if you send me (or I send myself) out without a clear assignment, I can quite happily spend an hour looking for a pack of butter. So much! To choose from!
Bring an Excel Sheet
That’s why every week I make a shopping list organized according to the layout of the supermarket, yes, really. And then I race through the store, with the bottles of mineral water first and the raspberries last in the cart. I actually even go to two supermarkets one after the other (because a broader selection), but always the same two, and I give myself thirty-five minutes in each. And what almost makes me flip out? When they suddenly change the layout! Seriously, it just happened!
It Feels Damn Well Like a Scavenger Hunt
I also get shivers when I think back to the last time I had to visit an ‘unfamiliar’ supermarket. Because where on earth had they decided to put the dried chickpeas? In the World Foods section, next to the Turkish pumpkin seeds? Or in the Mediterranean aisle, beneath the Italian legumes? Or (which would seem most logical to me, but then I’m no supermarket layout planner) with the chickpeas in jars, cans and bags? MAKE A CHOICE, PEOPLE! And by people I mean some kind of national alliance of supermarket layout planners.
Have them delivered, you say? Of course I’ve tried that. But the fact that I then have absolutely no control over which particular stalk of broccoli ends up in my fridge is also something I can’t deal with at all.
Delilah Would Like to Be Picked Up at the Service Desk
So I completely unloaded in the group chat for a moment. That during the chickpea adventure, I would actually have preferred to call home and ask whether someone could come and pick me up. But then Sabina spoke the words of salvation: ‘You shouldn’t be ticking off your shopping list! You can do that another time. This is supposed to be fun, like pomtiedom hey funny cookies, I’ll take those and then on to the shelf with little dishes and bowls’.
Chill Out, Will You
Something started to dawn on me. Oooohh, you mean like on vacation? I’m actually very good at this there. Like that last time in Italy, which the kids still refer to as ‘the vacation when Mom spent three hours at the supermarket’? Exactly, said Sabina. That vibe. Let it goooo. Okay. I nodded obediently. When it’s quiet, I’ll try it, promise.
Read also:
- Packaging misery at the supermarket: the struggle is real
- What to eat when you’re in a f-ing foul mood
- The biggest tokos for all your groceries
