7 signs you’re a food digger
Gold diggers are often easy to spot at a glance. A far-too-beautiful woman on the arm of a rich old guy? Check. Food diggers aren’t looking for money, but get their satisfaction from as much free food as possible.
Unlike gold diggers, they’re hard to spot. Do any of your friends fit these characteristics? Consider yourself warned. Or maybe you’re one yourself…
1. You can’t cook
But you do really love food. Now what? You can’t eat a snack board with ready-made cheese and charcuterie every day. Takeaway is your best friend, but not your wallet’s. Luckily, you have the solution.
2. All your friends can cook
You choose your friends based on their cooking skills. You make several plans per day. Around five o’clock, you ask around to find out what’s on the menu and choose the friend whose meal appeals to you most. You bring the wine or a baguette. In any case, something that means you don’t have to stand in the kitchen.
3. You only go to a party if there’s food too
Birthday or housewarming? That can mean two things. Either the host has put a few bags of crisps and some crudités on the table. Or someone has really gone all out with homemade party snacks, or has at least stopped by that special delicatessen. In the latter case, you’re the first one at the door, but in the former, unfortunately you have another obligation you really can’t get out of.
4. Dating = eating
Is someone on Tinder pictured with a large lobster or a glass of wine? Like! That’s the perfect opening to steer the first date towards a restaurant. A cup of coffee or glass of wine is obviously not enough for you. A date is the perfect opportunity for a woman to eat for free. During the day, you’re a complete feminist, but as soon as you get hungry in the evening, the man pays. Right?
5. If you can’t choose the restaurant, you don’t come
This applies to a romantic date, but also to one with your friends. You always get to choose the restaurant. You’re good at giving your friends the impression that they picked the latest hotspot, but secretly you’re always pulling the strings. Do they still want to eat at that one place where the food always disappoints you? Suddenly, you have an important appointment with your mother and join them for drinks after dinner.
6. As many courses as possible
‘Would you like the kitchen to put together a seven-course surprise menu?’ Yes please! You’ve dragged yourself all the way out of the house and made yourself look nice to sit in a restaurant. It would be a shame to settle for just three courses now. From amuse-bouche to friandise with your coffee, you want it all.
7. You never have your wallet with you
Yes, and then the bill arrives. As luck would have it, your wallet is still in the car. And damn, your bank’s app is down too, or you can’t connect to the Wi-Fi. As soon as you get home, you’ll transfer the money. Or maybe not?
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