7 things I learned from my part-time job at the HEMA restaurant
Once upon a time, in the distant past (read: 2015), I worked at the HEMA restaurant wearing my bright green polo shirt and ugly, baggy jeans with a ridiculously huge logo. Making coffee, preparing sandwiches, working the register, cleaning tables, clearing away dirty dishes: I did it all. And even though you don’t realize it at the time… I actually learned quite a few things from my part-time job at the HEMA restaurant.
Valuable lessons that come in handy for the rest of your life. For example, working at your favorite store also gets you a discount on products from that favorite store. Here are 7 more things I learned during my time at HEMA:
1. We’re a stingy bunch
The Dutch are known as a stingy bunch. We’ll always investigate how to get through life as cheaply as possible. I was reminded of that every single workday at the HEMA restaurant. Remember HEMA’s one-euro breakfasts? For €1, you got a baguette with omelet, a croissant and a cup of coffee or tea. If you wanted a more elaborate breakfast, you could buy extra ingredients for 10 or 25 cents (I think). At least, that’s how it was back then, when I was working behind the register 10 years ago. What’s 25 cents for a slice of bacon, you might think. And yet there were (hordes of!) people who expertly stuffed that slice of bacon between their baguette and omelet, hoping I wouldn’t see it. Just to sneak that slice of bacon for free. Yes, really.
The days when you could have breakfast at HEMA that cheaply are now behind us. But will our stingy behavior ever become a thing of the past? I doubt it.
2. Karens really do exist
I’ve also worked in a clothing store, at a supermarket and in customer service. But I really did meet my biggest nightmare customer at HEMA. Sometimes I think the phenomenon of Karen was invented because of her existence. Whatever you did, this woman would snap at you. She’d completely tear you down and then happily stomp all over you. If I was behind the register and there was a short line and she joined at the back, she would IMMEDIATELY shout that things needed to go faster and that I had to hurry up. If I poured her soup, she’d scream that there needed to be more meatballs in it. And yes, I had to call the manager over for her several times. I don’t know how she’s doing, but I hope she chokes on one of those soup meatballs someday. There.
3. People are (huge) creatures of habit
I actually found this absolutely adorable. I don’t think there’s any other store people return to out of habit as much as HEMA. The HEMA restaurant was no different. Some people came here every day. Every. Single. Day. At the same time, at the same table. And they always ordered exactly the same thing. I can still clearly picture the elderly couple who always ordered a cappuccino and a coffee, then sat at the same round table by the window. The woman also always brought a loyalty card with her (once it was full, you got a free cup of coffee), and she was always trying to score free stamps. This situation also fits the ‘stingy bunch’ scenario pretty well, I realize now. We’re creatures of habit, and I’m here for it.
4. Patience is a virtue (and extra-clean clothes are too)
People who also work in HEMA restaurants: you’re probably nodding vigorously right now. HEMA restaurants can get insanely, insanely busy. So you have to take orders like a maniac, restock sandwiches, make iced coffee and… Yes, make iced coffee. I also had a nightmare experience with that. They were always prepared in advance and stored in large plastic jugs in the refrigerator. So one time—in stress mode—I dropped two of those jugs incredibly hard onto the floor. Straight out of my hands. I was wearing a green HEMA shirt, and it was soaked through and completely brown. Thank God for the extra-clean HEMA shirts there. Sometimes I feel like I still have a little iced coffee coming out of my pores.
5. The dishwashing area is (literally) the shit
When Karen came to visit or I had a hangover, I always preferred to disappear into the dishwashing area. I honestly found it really chill there. Just working behind the scenes, clearing away plates, knives and trays. Don’t call me: I was perfectly happy there. But sometimes it was also, quite literally, the shit. When there were disgusting snotty tissues, wads of chewing gum and bloodstained napkins lying around, for example. That was when Karen could call me to come and help her after all.
6. I’m actually pretty good at making pancakes
The first pancake always goes wrong—but not for me. No, I was genuinely REALLY good at using that pancake machine. My colleagues always complimented me on it. I happily took those pancake-making skills home with me. Making pancakes is still my talent. I did get one scar from that machine, though. That was when I was once again being Miss Impatience herself and bumped into the scorching-hot plate. I think it was only last year that I started noticing the scar on my arm had faded a little.
7. The Surinamese chicken sandwich must never disappear
In my time—2015, that is—the Surinamese chicken sandwich was the real bestseller. Those sandwiches flew out the door. If you put four out, all four would be gone within 10 minutes. Admittedly, this sandwich with chicken, curry sauce and pickles is also insanely delicious. That’s why I’m pleading for it never to disappear. I happened to have one during my HEMA visit last week, so I know for sure it’s still there. Phew.
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