Bloody irritating: dining out with impatient people
Waving your hands, sighing, tapping on the table and eventually even banging on it. Dining out with impatient people is a trial for every fellow diner. Just take it easy!
Across from me, my dining companion was waving the menu around. Not at themselves because it was hot, and not even at me to get my attention, but at the waiter. A waiter who was (clearly visibly) succumbing to the hordes of people and the bustle on the terrace. I almost grabbed a tray myself to help out—it was that hysterical. After a while, the waving stopped, but turned into even more impatient tapping (?) on the table.
The waving and sighing person
For accompaniment, there was also some sighing and huffing, along with looking around with an outstretched neck. I swear that at one point they even started banging on the table with both flat hands. I would have preferred to slide off my chair and under the table. And then something strange happened to me. Because of this impatient behavior in a restaurant, I started acting a little strangely myself.
Don’t get me wrong, if the waving and sighing person had been someone close to me, I would have waved and gestured at them long ago, but that wasn’t the case. And that’s when it happens. It starts with a strange feeling in my lower abdomen, then, out of secondhand embarrassment, I start fidgeting in my chair. At some point I try to soften things a little. I mumble that it’s busy, that we’re sitting comfortably and that it’s all somewhat beyond anyone’s control.
Mr. Impatience
This usually doesn’t work with these damn impatient types, by the way. It’s a bit of a “softly-softly” approach that ends up making someone even more aware of how long it’s taking. And then comes the moment when I start overcompensating very awkwardly. Not towards Mr. Impatience, of course—he should be thoroughly ashamed of himself—but towards everyone who appears to work in the restaurant in question.
Overcompensating with friendliness
I smile extremely understandingly at everyone who walks past, helpfully slide crockery towards the right side of the table, say thank you at least ten times too often and smooth things over when they forget something. I’ve even once found myself nodding far too politely at a passer-by whom I thought worked at the restaurant. The girl then glanced over her shoulder to see whether perhaps someone I knew was standing there. That’s how excessively friendly I get when overcompensating, yes.
At your mother’s house
Of course, it isn’t always the (impatient) visitors’ fault and sometimes something takes an excruciatingly long time, but even then, you don’t have to behave rudely, do you? I always wonder whether you behaved like that at home, sitting at the table with your mother. Waving your hands, sighing, tapping on the table and eventually even banging on it. I don’t know, but the only thing I would probably have got then was a clip round the ear and a one-way ticket to bed. With your sighing. If you’re in a hurry, go and get a little Febo snack from the corner.
Otherwise, just take it easy.
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