Bloody Irritating: When a Restaurant Turns into a Daycare
Adeline (nickname: Eddie) loves food, lots of it and often, both at home and out. Most of the time, that goes well, but sometimes it doesn’t. In the series Eddie’s food annoyances, you can read about the latter. This time: running terrorists – ahem – children in a restaurant.
A moment ago, sticky syrup from the kid next door with the cute Vans sneakers splattered all over my table and laptop. It can happen, you might think, but it could have been prevented. The child in question had sent the supposedly unbreakable cup crashing onto the restaurant tiles at considerable speed for the third (!) time. The mother didn’t notice the splashing, by the way, because she was too busy lifting her child into, out of, into and out of the high chair. Judging by the smell, it was Roosvicee. I never really liked that stuff and still don’t.
Little monsters
Even as a toddler, my mother drilled me in sitting properly at the table. Hands above the table, feet tucked under your bottom, and making an effort to eat with a knife and fork without shooting the fried potatoes off your plate. Of course I wanted to run around, pull on tablecloths, hide behind other guests’ chairs and pelt the waiters with mayonnaise. But I didn’t. Let’s just say that parental authority deprived me of every opportunity for mischief, so I obediently coloured in the colouring page under my nose. It wasn’t sad, honestly, because it turned me into the most desirable child in a public establishment. And believe me, there aren’t many of those.
Maybe it was because of the holiday, but there were a lot of parents dealing with little ones that day. So I ended up at a table right between two exuberant children who were extremely energetic. I hadn’t chosen to sit there passively, by the way, because I was the first one in. At first, I still smiled at the two cheeky little things to my left and right, because children are fun. Until the screaming became so overwhelming that I couldn’t even hear myself think anymore. At one point I was so overstimulated that I simply forgot to drink my coffee. Damn, I had cold coffee too.
Unguided missiles
Dear parents, I understand that such an uncontrollable child is most complicated for you, because the toddler has to go home with you too, after all. But can we agree on one thing? If your child runs between the waitress’s legs like a professional footballer and reaches well over 80 decibels, then it’s either time to cool off outside or time to leave. Children are fun, children really don’t have to sit on their chairs like saints, children are absolutely welcome. But when those children turn into unguided missiles, it’s no longer enjoyable for anyone. It’s not a daycare.
I heard the young mother mutter to her friend that a real, complete conversation was no longer possible, but ‘times are changing’, right? And as she zipped her child into the stroller and walked out of the place, an untouched sparkling water remained imperturbably bubbling on the table. I wish her a wonderful, long date night soon, without a child.
Also read:
- These plates for children didn’t quite work out
- 10 tips for ‘I don’t like it’ children
- 35 of the dumbest reasons why children don’t finish their food
