Fiet fiew! 5 sizzling summer wines
Wines that drive every woman wild with excitement? They exist! So here goes: 5 wine tips that will have the girls falling into your lap like ripe fruit. Plus a little bonus. Make the most of it.
Champagne, ooh la la!
My good friend H. once saw a cross-stitched sign hanging in an English gentlemen’s club that read: ‘Champagne makes women dance and loose their pants’. I rest my case. Champagne = sex. Cliché? Probably, but there’s a reason for that. Champagne has been considered a super-chic and eroticizing sparkling wine for centuries, and I don’t know a single woman who doesn’t get excited by it – especially when it’s enjoyed before lunch.
Just like Sarkozy
Rumor has it that Sarkozy seduced his Bruni with a white Châteauneuf-du-Pape. Châteauneuf-du-Pape is rich, complex and generous, with a pleasant freshness. It’s also higher in alcohol, around 13.5%, though you hardly notice because you drink it chilled. Glug, glug, and before you know it she’s whispering Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir in your ear. Bingo!
Seductive Viognier
Another white wine that will help you score: Viognier. Thanks to its exotic fruit and soft, rich flavor, it makes for a delicious glass. Like the Arrogant Frog. A wine label featuring a frog in a beret childish? Absolutely. So don’t put it on the table if she’s the type who can’t stand cartoon characters on ties and/or boxers. But the beret-wearing frog wouldn’t sell if it didn’t taste good. Trust me, the bottle will be emptied. What happens afterward… who knows?
Sweet foreplay
Sweet (dessert) wine is unbelievably charming, exciting, sexy and tough. The George Clooney of wine, so to speak. And then there’s the combination with food! If you want to seduce her with such a syrupy glass, serve it with a piece of blue cheese too. That combination is, just like the two of you soon will be, a match made in heaven. A fun added bonus: dessert wine is also excellent for drinking from a (male or female) belly button.
Sake, deliciously exciting
What comes from far away is delicious. And, importantly, you can add an intriguing nugget of information. Take sake. The rice wine is perfect for exciting stories about samurai warriors in the Land of the Rising Sun and/or mysterious whispers about the Kama Sutra (the textbook on the art of love, which admittedly comes from India rather than Japan, but let’s not quibble). Don’t just buy any old sake at the local supermarket. No, see it as an investment and bring home a top-notch bottle. After you’ve memorized the Kama Sutra, of course.
The nickname says it all
If things still aren’t going smoothly thanks to the tips above, I have two words for you: dark rum. Because how exciting is this! The long drink Dark ‘n Stormy is nicknamed Dark ‘n Horny for a reason, and I don’t need to tell you what that means. The mix of ginger beer and rum is delicious, and easy to make too. As the ultimate seducer, go all out and choose a sweet, full-bodied Zacapa 23. Mix 60 ml of this super-premium rum with 120 ml of Old Jamaica Ginger Beer. Pour the mixture over ice in a glass and squeeze 1 lime wedge over it. Thank me later.
Read also:
