Heel Holland Bakt talk #3: leave the gun, take the cannoli
Is Heel Holland Bakt getting exciting yet? The beginning viewer might say: no, not yet. But the experienced viewer has known for a long time: something is brewing in that tent. For example, cannoli with a snotty pistachio filling are brewing.
The basics: don’t let it melt
No matter how much Janny, Robèrt and André pretend it’s almost New Year’s Eve, no one is falling for it. We can clearly see that it’s the height of summer, that the tent is shimmering with heat and that everyone is probably fanning themselves between takes, downing liters of Spa Blauw and trying to crawl into the freezer from heat stress. Still, we can’t blame the weather alone for all the melting situations in the tent. Chill it, we shout at the television. Chill it! It’s very simple: if the cake is still warm, the icing gushes off like sweat from a baker’s back. Filling warm pastry rolls with a lukewarm filling? Think: melting soft serve. Dramatic. We see police chief Jeroen almost crying as he pours something that looks like salad dressing over a tiny cake, but is probably supposed to be white chocolate mirror glaze.
Leave the gun, take the cannoli
The Godfather, Part I. Hitman Clemenza shoots Paulie dead in cold blood. The murder weapon is best left in the car, but the pastries the mafia men just bought—well, the portly Clemenza is hungry for those. Leave the gun, take the cannoli, he says to his partner in crime. It’s a good thing the bakers’ lives in the tent didn’t depend on six successful cannoli, because it was a messy, fumbling affair. Not easy, Robèrt and Janny had already indicated: crisp, deep-fried cinnamon pastry rolls filled with a pistachio ganache. Dripping drama: the green cream runs out of the cannoli like snot from a flu-ridden nose.
Plasma with Fanta
Traditional cakes in which the baker expresses their cultural background always do well on Heel Holland Bakt. But in this episode, things got a little too exotic when Bosnian Nina crushed a local regional cookie, called it ‘plasma’ and then cheerfully poured Fanta over it. This is how it becomes a cream, she tried to convince everyone. Janny would have preferred to say something about ‘developing baking techniques further’, but Robèrt didn’t mince words: this is not how you make a sponge cake; this is not food. Poor Nina, she had to leave the baking tent.
Highlight
Is it concentration, is it stress? Either way, Anouk can’t crack a smile while baking. With a fierce look, she fusses with decorating chocolate, creating images of yoga poses on a little cake. Maybe the jury sees something else in it, Anouk wonders with a frown? Fortunately, Janny and Robèrt think the cake is beautiful, and Anouk can smile again.
Low point
Cheesemonger Johan makes cannoli that Robèrt does nothing but pull apart and refuses to taste. Undercooked, no filling. A low point, you might say. Fortunately, Johan redeems himself with two savory pies, one inspired by cheese fondue. Could you send that recipe this way, Johan? Thank you!
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