My Italian Father-in-Law Refuses to Eat My Pasta
Suze has been with Alessandro for six years. And that comes with an Italian father-in-law. She wouldn’t call him a traditional Italian. Except when it comes to food. According to him, Suze’s pasta isn’t pasta, and he therefore refuses to eat it. ‘The other day, he angrily threw the ketchup through the kitchen.’
Suze: ‘Before the entire culinary community comes down on me: I really love good food and I’m definitely not someone who puts ketchup with or on everything. But the sweetness of ketchup in a Bolognese sauce really works well. Well, except when my father-in-law comes over for dinner…’
Cream in carbonara
Italians are dead serious when it comes to culinary traditions. So be it, but Suze was brought up to believe that at home, you make your own rules. So if she prefers carbonara with heavy cream to carbonara without cream, why shouldn’t she? It has already caused quite a few conflicts at home, because Alessandro is embarrassed when his—of all people, Roman—father comes over for dinner and the Italian food isn’t the way he knows it. The way it should be, too.
A cloud of cream in the carbonara? Or a cheese other than pecorino romano? To put it mildly, that doesn’t make him happy. At the mere suggestion, he starts rolling his eyes and raising his hands to the heavens. All this happening in his own family: a mortal sin!
Honey in cappuccino
Suze: ‘Sorry, but I really think this is nitpicking. Besides, a Sicilian colleague of mine puts honey in her cappuccino and assured me that there really are differences in how Italians make their carbonara. Small differences perhaps, but still. Surely that stubborn adherence to tradition shouldn’t overshadow your personal preference?’
Pizza with frikandel
Suze: ‘Many of my friends have an incredibly romantic image of an Italian family. They picture long tables, like in TV commercials, with moms in aprons and plates of steaming pasta somewhere among the rolling Italian hills where the sun is always shining. In my experience, the reality is that in many Italian families there is absolutely no flexibility when it comes to cooking.
It has to be done that way because it’s tradition, and tradition is not to be tampered with. Certainly not by a non-Italian (me, that is), and especially not by someone from a country where they put frikandel on pizza—the greatest sin of all according to my father-in-law.’
Ketchup in the Bolognese
Alessandro’s father has a formidable opponent in Suze. Because when he comes over to her house for dinner, she makes pasta the way she likes it. Suze: ‘The funny thing is that before he knew I put ketchup in my Bolognese, he complimented me on my pasta! Alessandro said to him: “You’ll never guess what Suze’s secret ingredient is.” My father-in-law thought it was an Italian tomato or herb. But when it turned out to be ketchup, he made a theatrical choking gesture. As if he were going to die. Yeah, right… He still does this. If Alessandro merely says that I’m going to cook, he crosses his hands over his throat. He refuses to eat my pasta.
Enough!
The most annoying thing of all is the wedge it is driving between Alessandro and Suze. Suze: ‘He doesn’t think that when his father comes over for dinner, he should put his traditions aside for a moment. And he doesn’t stand up for me during these discussions either, which frustrates me enormously. So the other day I put a bottle of ketchup on the table. I was very curious to see how Alessandro would react. Would he now talk to his father about how, at our house, our rules apply?
But it never got to that conversation. Furious, my father-in-law threw the bottle across the kitchen. “Enough!”, he shouted. Fortunately, the cap was screwed on tightly.’
‘Now I’m done being hospitable to my father-in-law for a while. If he really wants to eat Italian food, he can make it himself.’
Suze’s name has been changed for privacy reasons. Her real name is known to the editorial team. Would you also like to share a personal story (anonymously!)? You can email us at info@favorflav.com
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