My vegan sister-in-law can go to hell
Families are (often) fun. Until a new sister-in-law walks in who thinks your steak is actually a moral bankruptcy. Anita is clear about it: ‘My vegan sister-in-law can go to hell – and I suspect that many readers, after a family dinner full of discussions about meat, CO2 emissions and bean soup, know exactly what I mean.’
A sister-in-law with a mission
‘My brother has a rather turbulent love life. Relationships that come and go faster than your wine glass can be refilled. Sometimes a relief, sometimes a loss, because one person fits into the family better than another. But for the past two years, there has been Baukje. Fifteen years younger, a spiritual therapist and above all: a convinced vegan.
Not a problem in itself. Live and let live, right? Only… Baukje thinks that we should live vegan too. And that’s where the trouble begins. Because if there’s one thing that can ruin a feast, it’s a moral lecture next to your turkey.
Cosy family dinner (or so we thought)
My sister decided to go all out for a dinner party. She spent days in the kitchen, with lists, groceries and stress sweat. Cooking for thirteen people is a competitive sport in itself. Naturally, she took Baukje’s diet into account, but she refused to make a vegan menu for the entire family. Our clan loves a good piece of meat; a turkey with paper hats on its legs is simply part of the occasion.
When the platter came to the table, it smelled of celebration, nostalgia and culinary happiness. Everyone cheered. Except Baukje. She put down her glass and snidely remarked that we really ought to think more carefully about animal suffering.
Climate versus turkey
Earlier that evening, my husband had already had a heated discussion with her about climate targets. He, slightly tipsy, she, morally superior – a recipe for trouble, in short. I tried to signal to him with looks to calm down, but he acted as if I were invisible.
So when that turkey came to the table, the bomb exploded. My sister went pale, my brother looked desperately at his girlfriend, and my husband loudly shouted that Baukje could shove her hemp-clad ideals and bean soup where the sun doesn’t shine.
And then it kicked off. Baukje ranted back, my husband added words I don’t even dare repeat here, and within five minutes my brother and Baukje stormed out angrily. Car gone, silence. And then: helpless laughter around the table.
Why vegan preaching is annoying
Of course, Baukje does have a point. Animal suffering is terrible, and you won’t save the world with lamb shanks and foie gras. But there is a difference between living according to your convictions and constantly trying to knock the meat knife out of other people’s hands. No one changes their diet because someone shouts during a family dinner that they are responsible for a turkey’s CO2 emissions.
And let’s be honest: we’re all a little hypocritical. Vegan or not, you drive a car, fly now and then, buy fast fashion, or order a package that gets sent back and forth three times. Don’t preach as if you’re going to save the world single-handedly with lentil burgers.
The art of tolerance (and wine)
Maybe that’s the crux of it: being tolerant. My sister thoughtfully cooked a vegan dish alongside the turkey. Baukje could have appreciated that. But no: she chose to attack. And my husband? He chose genever. Not helpful.
And Baukje? We never saw her again after that dinner. My brother drove off into the night, the turkey was carved, and we gained an anecdote for the books about “that one time with the vegan sister-in-law”.
Maybe she’s somewhere in a spiritual centre in Drenthe now, busy with chakras and chickpeas. Fine by me. In any case, I’d rather decide for myself whether I eat meat.’
4 things you’d better not say to your vegan sister-in-law
Or to any other vegan dining companion.
- “But cheese isn’t really an animal, is it?”
And there you go: a free lecture on the dairy industry. - “I’d become vegan too, but I love bitterballen too much.”
Original! She’s only heard that… every day of her life. - “Are you getting enough protein?”
The sentence that makes every vegan overturn an entire table internally. - “Would you like to carve the turkey instead?”
Congratulations: you’ve just turned the family dinner into a battlefield.
Read also:
- Real life: Jacky’s husband cheated on her, and she took revenge with this dish
- My Italian father-in-law refuses to eat my pasta
- Real life: Meike (38) can’t stop stealing from Albert Heijn
