People, what is going on with Amsterdam’s hospitality scene?

Adeline (nickname: Eddie) loves food, lots of it and often, both at home and out. Usually that goes well, but sometimes it doesn’t. You can read about the latter in the series Eddie’s food frustrations . This time, she wants to talk about Amsterdam’s hospitality scene.

I called at ten in the morning to ask whether there might—just possibly (very, very possibly)—still be a table available that Wednesday evening to come and eat. The woman on the other end of the phone choked on her matcha. She shouted down the phone in a very strong New-Amsterdam accent: “Uuuuuuh, no no no. That’s REALLY not possible anymore. We’re completely full.” She might as well have asked me if I’d taken a hard fall on the back of my head that morning, because that’s how it sounded.

Slamming plates onto the table

That’s another thing. In Amsterdam, it hasn’t been about the food for ages, but about a restaurant’s concept. Whatever comes out of the kitchen can be decidedly meagre, as long as the concept is for the in-crowd. I just heard someone say about Barracuda in Noord: “They basically just threw some tables down in a large hall, but it’s such a fun concept.” I couldn’t help myself and immediately Googled what Barracuda actually was. Honestly? I suspect I might even appreciate the concept myself.

Downright rude

People, what is going on with Amsterdam’s hospitality scene? Everyone wants to eat en masse at the same little place with a particular concept and downright rude service. It seems to be some kind of required skill set when applying for a job. Being rude, acting disinterested, being able to look past guests and slamming plates onto the table just a little too hard. Fun if you’re eating at Karen’s Diner, but definitely not otherwise.

Outside the ring road

And do Amsterdammers ever spend an entire evening somewhere anymore? Reserving at the impossible hour of seven and hanging around until closing time? If so, tell me where. I always end up at establishments that work in shifts. That means either sitting down at six sharp and being out by quarter to eight, or sitting down after eight with a serious appetite. Both are highly unsatisfying. I want entertainment that fills the evening. I want to make a spontaneous reservation. I want a normal chair, not those rickety stools you can only endure for two drinks. I want a waiter who asks what I’d like to eat without disdain, nose pointed toward the ceiling.

Genuinely lovely waiter

Because the Amsterdam employee of an unnamed restaurant no longer had a table available, I ended up at Mana Mana in Amsterdam-West with my book club, by the way. Here we may have encountered the last kind and genuine waiter in Amsterdam’s hospitality scene. A quick shout-out to him, too. I really felt as though I was outside the ring road for a moment.

Also read:

• We need to talk about the card machine with its tipping function
• Our man in the provinces on hospitality-sector jerks
• 5 reasons I love German petrol stations so much