Real life: Samantha has misophonia and can never eat out
Samantha has misophonia and cannot stand eating sounds. Every day, she tries to find a balance between avoiding these irritating sounds and finding ways to cope with them. ‘What I find worst is that people think I’m just being dramatic. I hope my story will change that.’
‘As someone who has been struggling with misophonia for years, there is one thing I would so love to do but really can’t, and that is eat out. A pleasant evening in a restaurant is a wonderful and relaxing experience for most people, but for me it is a true nightmare. The sounds that others may not even notice are unbearable to me.
The smacking of someone at a nearby table
I keep trying, and sometimes I really can’t get out of it and have to go along. Special anniversaries, my best friend’s birthday; of course I don’t want to miss those things. When I eat out, it is not just the ordinary sounds of cutlery tapping against plates or people chatting softly. No, it is the little things, such as the smacking of someone at a nearby table, stirring a drink, or even the sound of someone breathing while they chew. These sounds, however innocent they may seem, can drive me completely crazy. My heart starts beating faster, my breathing quickens, and I feel a wave of anger and fear surge through my body. Everything in me wants to jump up from the table and shake the person causing the horrible noise. It is truly maddening.
Precautions
Every time I try to eat out, I prepare as well as possible. By choosing tables far away from other guests, choosing a table outside where there is less echo, or wearing earplugs that muffle the sounds somewhat. But even these precautions are not always enough. The sounds always find a way to reach me, and before I know it, I am sitting on the edge of my seat, ready to run away.
Guilt
It is difficult to explain to friends and family why I keep cancelling whenever plans are made to eat out. How do you explain that something so normal for them is often torture for you? I often feel guilty for disappointing them, but the thought of spending another evening in a restaurant fills me with so much fear and stress that I simply cannot handle it. A friend recently suggested going to a restaurant that takes people who cannot cope well with restaurant sounds into account. It is, after all, a serious problem in the hospitality industry that few people talk about. Of course, it is not much fun when you cannot cope with all those cheerful sounds of going out. People often see you as a ‘prude’ or a ‘boring old stick-in-the-mud.’
A serious condition
That is also what makes misophonia extra awful: it is a condition that is not always taken seriously. People often think I am exaggerating, that I am simply a little more sensitive to sounds than others. But it goes much further than that. Misophonia has affected my life in countless ways, and the ability to enjoy a pleasant meal out is just one of the things I have had to give up. I cannot eat at the table with my family or have lunch with colleagues at the office. On holiday, I eat by myself in the campervan. Misophonia is not attention-seeking; it is a serious condition.
Enjoying a restaurant without fear and stress
Even so, the desire to lead a normal social life, including eating out, is always there. I hope that one day there will be a way to cope better with misophonia, so that I can enjoy a restaurant without fear and stress, surrounded by friends and family. But until then, I continue to struggle with the reality that misophonia deprives me of one of life’s simplest and most enjoyable experiences.’
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Samantha’s name has been changed for privacy reasons. Her real name is known to the editorial team. Would you also like to share a personal story (anonymously!)? You can email us at info@favorflav.com
