These are the worst things we’ve done – in the name of food

We’re no saints here at FavorFlav, though sometimes we are sinners. Because, oh boy, we sometimes do some pretty strange things, in the name of food. From French-kissing for pesto (very slutty, we realize) to scouring cities and countryside for a frikandellenvlaai (anything for the fanbase!). 

Anything for pesto

Sharon: “Do I really have to say this? Okay then: I once—loooong ago—kissed an Italian chef to extract his pesto recipe. Yes, that was the deal: kissing = getting the secret pesto ingredient. So you don’t resort to the same slutty behavior: a stock cube. A golden tip. Do try this at home.”

A detour here and there

Marcus: “As a matter of principle, I don’t French-kiss chefs—call it journalistic distance. I sometimes drive specifically from Haarlem to Amsterdam for a baguette from the French baker le Fournil. And I’ve also occasionally taken a detour for a visit to a salt pan in Portugal—without my family being in the mood for it.”

What haven’t I done?

Adeline: “I’m great at favoring myself in the name of food. No major sins, but plenty of little ones. Always quickly cutting off and eating the tastiest end of the grill sausage, sitting on the right side of the table so I’m in pole position for the burrata, secretly scooping an extra piece of falafel from the salad at lunch, refusing to share my food while shamelessly cadging a bite from someone else. I’m your worst nightmare when it comes to the menu.”

Dine & Dash

Laura: “I think I was about 15 when I committed a “dine & dash” for the first (and last!) time in my life with a friend. Apparently, we were looking for some excitement and sensation in our lives, and after one of our first joints we decided to ‘buy’ out the snack bar, eat everything on the little terrace, and then, like true losers, cycle away at top speed without paying. So rude! And stupid, too; the snack bar was around the corner from my school, and I avoided it for months. Well, I blame the munchies. After all these years, I always buy something when I’m near that snack bar and leave a hefty tip. In the hope of paying off my guilt..”

Lobster in South Africa

Sabina: “Of course, eating lobster is easy enough at home, or—why not go wild—in a fancy restaurant in the Netherlands. But when I heard about a picturesque little restaurant in South Africa where you could eat incredibly fresh lobster on the beach, with the Atlantic Ocean at your feet, I simply had to go there to eat lobster for the very first time in my life. It became an obsession, because I turned down lobster bites at fancy drinks parties: I wanted to eat lobster there for the first time, and nowhere else. After saving hard for six months and flying for twelve hours, my boyfriend and I drove up the coast to Paternoster in a rattling rental car. There was the beach, there were the fishing boats, and there was the restaurant I’d heard so much about. Hey, luckily they had just opened, so let’s make a reservation for tonight. Book a table? No need! Do they have lobster? Haha, of course they have lobster! But when we arrived that evening, there were about twenty Harley Davidsons in the parking lot in front of the beach shack. Yep, the whole place was packed with Hells Angels, who had just had the last lobsters delivered. We consoled ourselves with fried shrimp—not quite the same. Luckily, we could book another night and I got to eat lobster for the first time the following evening. Unforgettable.”

The hunt for frikandellenvlaai

Snackspert: “The worst thing I’ve ever done? Well, phew, basically running Snackspert, right? I’ve never had to watch my weight so closely as I have since I started doing this. But seriously: I once cycled all over town looking for an Aldi frikandellenvlaai. It was unavailable everywhere. Kind of a sad idea, really…”

Stale cardboard

Marcel: “I was single, the fridge was empty, and I thought: fuck it. I ate the kale with sausage straight from a ready-made container from Albert Heijn. It was appallingly bad. Even half a jar of sambal—which was always in the fridge back then too, I’m not an idiot—couldn’t change it. It still tasted like stale cardboard. I still regret it.”

But wasn’t I vegetarian?

Steffi: “In 2006—I was 18—I went on a ‘round-the-world trip’ to Argentina. Upon arrival, my host family was already waiting for me; they had prepared a huge feast: a real Argentine barbecue, in other words: meat, meat, and even more meat. Small problem: I had been vegetarian for a year. On the way to the barbecue—we ‘only’ had to drive for 4 hours—I did nothing but look outside and tell myself: look, those cows have so much space here, they can graze happily, they have a good life. After repeating this mantra to myself for 4 hours, I just went for it. I didn’t want to disappoint those lovely people and… man oh man, that meat was DELICIOUS. Unbelievable. Goodbye vegetarianism. Hello T-bone steaks!”

The toddler-vitamin-lie

Delilah: “I’m far too well-behaved. The worst things I’ve ever done in the name of food were more educational in nature: convincing my toddlers that chewable vitamins were sweets, that plain yogurt was an incredibly desirable dessert, and that snacking on bell pepper was the highlight of the day.”

Read also: 

• 8x bizarre and disgusting behavior from hospitality guests
• These are hospitality staff’s favorite late-night snacks
• How to be a dream guest in every restaurant