These culinary irritants—we never want to see them again, part 2
Culinary irritants and food trends we’d rather be rid of; we’ve been venting our frustrations lately. We can’t stand these ‘foodie’ words anymore.
In every industry, there are words that have become so commonplace that they’re used at every opportunity, and often when they don’t belong. Devaluing the word in the process. Take the word ‘passion’, for example. What does that have to do with supermarket bread? We’d like to ban these words in 2023:
1. Everyone’s a foodie
First up: the word ‘foodie’ itself. Vincent: ‘I absolutely loathe the word foodie. Anyone who takes a photo of a cupcake or a hamburger is a foodie. I think it’s a childish term and long for the days when you had food critics who actually tasted and actually wrote about food, instead of taking a stylized snapshot and then having a cautious bite while being terrified of gluten and dairy. Anyone who calls themselves a foodie should, as far as I’m concerned, immediately be put on bread and water.’
2. Baking with passion
Sabina: ‘All those things involving passion, for starters. They evoke entirely different associations for me than doing your job enthusiastically. So that “love & passion” bread from Albert Heijn. I’d rather have flour & yeast (so apparently I’m extremely prudish and no fun, sorry).’
3. Handmade
Sabina: ‘Handmade. I find that disgusting. I don’t know what else those people do with their hands. So handmade chocolates: no thanks.’
4. Stop whining
Sharon: ‘I find the term “guilty pleasure” very problematic. Why would you feel guilty for eating or drinking something that is apparently gross or ridiculously fatty or packed with sugar? Just stuff/guzzle it down and stop whining. Everyone has their secret pleasures: embrace them! For instance, I always drink the little dish of soy sauce empty once all the sushi is gone. Yes, I know: this is insane for several reasons, including the raging thirst for the rest of the evening. But still: it’s delicious. Every single time.’
5. Don’t make it so complicated
Wieke isn’t a fan of ‘dishes given difficult names just to make them sound complicated. For example, “an emulsion of vegetable oil, vinegar and free-range eggs”—no, it’s just mayonnaise.’
6. Everything is artisanal
Sharon: ‘The word “artisanal” is also being completely abused. Of course, bakers who still make their own croissants (these are the best croissants in Amsterdam) are perfectly entitled to call them artisanal croissants. But what on earth is the word “artisanal” doing on DISGUSTING ORANGE FILET AMERICAIN FROM THE SUPERMARKET?!’
7. Food porn
Bo: ‘The word “foodporn” gives me instant shivers—just act normal and don’t use such weird words.’
8. An orgasm in your mouth
Sharon: ‘Along the same lines: the word “taste orgasm”. According to the Urban Dictionary, it means something like (loosely translated): “The reaction someone has after taking a bite of a dish they find exceptionally delicious. A taste orgasm usually involves one or more of the following: tilting the head back, rolling the eyes upward, panting, moaning and/or chirping.” I admit these are actions that are also very common during a sex orgasm, but surely such a happy ending is much more pleasurable than a bite of tiramisu or perfectly grilled chicken leg?’
Do you also have words that make you foam at the mouth? Feel free to let us know! And above all: happy eating!
