Why I’m Wildly Annoyed by Albert Heijn’s FoodFirst App
Albert Heijn’s good resolutions start this year: get everyone eating celery sticks and get rid of those rolls around our customers’ waists. The supermarket giant launched the FoodFirst Lifestyle Coach, an app that lets you cook healthily, meditate and get plenty of exercise. And I think: mind your own business, Albert Heijn.
Half of all Dutch people are overweight, and that’s not good. Even the Ministry of Health is concerned about it. For example, they have plans to abolish VAT on fruit and vegetables, if the Tax Administration doesn’t object, and to promote healthy eating and living in other ways too. It’s not for nothing that the Netherlands Nutrition Centre—yes, the one behind the Wheel of Five and all that—is fully funded by the government.
Double Chins
Albert Heijn is also taking responsibility for the Netherlands’ beer bellies and double chins. Not surprising, since as a supermarket they naturally helped get us hooked on ridged crisps, liquorice sticks and craft beers, making those rolls balloon. Tsk, tsk, that has to change. But how? Appie is going for an app: FoodFirst. It gives you upbeat tips for low-carb recipes, motivational emails, and the chance to take part in challenges to exercise more and worry less.
Less Deep-Frying, More Exercise
Am I the only one who finds this pretty irritating? Albert Heijn interfering with what I eat, when I exercise and how much I sleep? And then throwing in all kinds of tips about my sugar consumption, the fact that I deep-fry too much and exercise too little? Are we really waiting for the supermarket to urge us to take ten thousand steps or eat mostly salad?
Cleaning Yoga
I think: Albert Heijn, mind your own business. Just as the pharmacy doesn’t give me tips when young Gouda is on sale, just as we don’t draw up a cleaning rota in yoga class, just as the vet doesn’t advise me about my home contents insurance, and just as the mechanic doesn’t give me information about gardening. It doesn’t belong together. Or will the liquor store be promoting Dry January next year too, and will McDonald’s soon become a fitness centre?
Smurfs Tricked
And secondly: thanks to the Bonus Card, all kinds of data are collected about our spending habits. Are we going to add data about our eating and exercising too? Just to get discounts on products—for example, mini doughnuts and frozen pizzas are heavily discounted this week—that ultimately just give you a fat arse? AH’s concern about my average calorie intake is about as sincere as Gargamel showing the Smurfs a shortcut: straight into his cooking pot.
‘Are You Sure You Want to Do That?’
What’s the next step? As soon as you scan your Bonus Card, your screen will say: remember, Sabina, vitamin C is important at this time of year. If you want to scan a box of cheese soufflés, the self-checkout will show a smiley face with the words, ‘Are you sure you want to do that?’ Scan a jar of mayonnaise and the machine will simply refuse to work. An employee will come over to kindly guide you towards the salads. And if you’re not paying attention, she’ll take that Tony’s Chocolonely bar out of your basket. All for your own good, obviously.
Pushy
If Albert Heijn really wants to do something about obesity in the Netherlands, it would be a perfectly good plan to remove Kinder Surprise eggs and Bounty bars from the checkout, offer fruit and vegetables cheaply, or devote extra attention to a more extensive vegetarian range. Sponsoring healthy school lunches could also work, or lending a hand to struggling sports clubs.
But using a pushy app to make me meditate, walk or exercise? No, that really goes too far for me. And if you want to get rid of your love handles, follow the EGDH diet. It stands for ‘Eat Just Half of It.’ But then Albert Heijn would only make half as much money too, so you probably won’t find that tip in the app.
