Albert Heijn’s pizza pocket is so bad it makes you want to cry
Eke Bosman, better known as Instagram phenomenon @snackspert, ate his first frikandel as a baby, hates vlammetjes, has devoured at least 1,500 burgers in his life, suspects there’s more mayonnaise in his body than blood, AND shares his best and worst snack reviews on FavorFlav. This time, he was disgusted by Albert Heijn’s pizza pocket, but lucked out at a new snack bar in Amsterdam.
Fries and snacks from Frites & Frites, Amsterdam
Relatively new on Amsterdam’s Kinkerstraat: Frites & Frites. And yes, I didn’t expect there to be such a hip snack bar there. After all, its predecessor, Snackbar Cito, was very traditional (and great). But Frites & Frites takes a different approach, with Holtkamp croquettes, souflesses, lots of vegan snacks and a Beyond Burger on the menu, among other things. And parmesan fries too. I have to admit that I don’t really know exactly what sauce goes with them, but ever since my visit to Makamaka in Barcelona, I’ve been completely convinced that parmesan cheese belongs on fries. That salty/umami flavour on fries can never hurt; it just works well. The fries are also very crisp, simply fried to perfection. The frikandel did spend a little too long in the fryer, which gave it an overcooked flavour. The souflesse is simply very good, a bit like a roller-coaster ride—it almost never goes wrong. A lovely, modern snack bar that Oud-West was definitely still missing. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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📍: Frites & Frites, Amsterdam
📱: @frites_frites_amsterdam_
💰: 9.85 euros altogether
Pizza Pockets from Albert Heijn
Ever wanted to know what nuclear energy tastes like? Then this jalapeño cheddar pizza pocket from Albert Heijn is an excellent choice! The cheddar is so chemical that the Rutte cabinet decided to halt construction of the new nuclear reactor in Petten, because the cheddar in this pizza pocket is chemical enough as it is. And what the fuck, cheap cheddar on a pizza? Disgusting. This is absolutely inedible. ⭐️
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The pepperoni pizza pocket was fine, by the way, just a little boring. But fine. ⭐️⭐️⭐️
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📍: Albert Heijn
📱: @albertheijn
💰: 2.79 euros per 2 pieces
Veggie Vlammetjes from Topking
The vlammetje. On a drinks board, it’s really the kid chosen last during gym class, but in deep-fried form. A shame, because anyone who has ever watched or listened to my appearance on the Zelfspodcast knows that there’s a whole Vlam family. And seriously, it’s an even more fun family than the most sociable family in the Netherlands, also known as TROS. But that aside. Vlammetjes are now also available in a vegan version at the supermarket! And since with regular vlammetjes you mainly taste the FLAME and not the meat, it was an excellent move by producer Topking to finally bring the vegan version to market. Because, as I said, you can barely taste the difference. It’s a little grainier than the regular version, but it most definitely meets the ‘hello, I want to enjoy some snacks’ requirements. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Also read:
- This is it: the best frikandel from the supermarket
- Snacks under the Christmas tree: you’ll want these Christmas baubles from Action
- 10 snack names you’ll want to know, #2
