Can we talk about people who don’t like crusts
Adeline loves food, a lot and often, both at home and out and about. Usually that goes well, but sometimes it doesn’t. For example, when she’s sitting at the table with people who are too lazy to eat their crusts.
In fourth grade, there was a girl who was given crustless bread whenever she had to stay for lunch at school. Out of her cheerful Miffy lunchbox came a shapeless piece of white (!) bread with Nutella. When I was in primary school, we were still raised on Yogi, white bread and chocolate spread, without any Miss Anke-like types around.
All the other fourth-grade girls would then look sadly at their own sandwiches, crusts included, after which the lunch supervisor would spend three quarters of an hour trying to get the crusts into a bunch of whining toddlers. I can suddenly imagine that children without crusts were always a bit of a pain for the lunch supervisor.
The crust crackles
I think “crust” is a disgusting word, but someone decided that’s what the thing should be called, and however unappetizing it may sound, crust is delicious. The crust gives structure to what’s inside, the crust crackles, a crust makes a presentation, millions of bakers around the world have thought about crust, and then you have these people who find crust disgusting and refuse to eat it. First of all: how is it possible that you find the inside perfectly edible but not the edge? Secondly: do you even dare eat out anymore, and do people dare eat out with you? Thirdly: maybe you’re just being a bit of a drama queen.
Gnawed edges
Bakers spent years thinking about the proportions of the dough, the right baking temperature—what am I saying? Even pizza makers have special dips to enjoy with the leftover crust, because it’s so divine (!). Entire families guard the secret recipe so wholesalers can’t run off with it. You wouldn’t hang a Van Gogh without a frame, would you?
But then you have these people who don’t eat crusts and leave behind a gnawed pile of edges on their plate. In a way, you’re shitting all over the work a baker put in, because what is pizza or bread without a crispy crust? That’s like a tompouce without filling, sugar bread without sugar and kale mash without sausage. I would completely understand if a baker or pizzaiolo chased you out of the place, pelting you with dough. I might even help.
Crazy about the ends
I’ll even go so far as to say that the crust is the best part of a loaf of bread. You make me deliriously happy with a baguette from Le Fournil (I’m a bread snob), coarse salt from Symi and then dipping it in ridiculously expensive olive oil. At home, we even argue over the ends, because that’s where most of the pumpkin seeds are, which I then eat one by one. Which may be just as bad as cutting the crusts off your sandwich.
But don’t worry, I only do this within the privacy of my own living-room walls.
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