Dilemma: someone else is paying for the meal, what do you order?
What a treat, you’re being taken out for dinner. But when you accept the invitation, you step into a social minefield. Do you pile the table high with exclusive dishes because, hey, you’re not the one footing the bill, or do you keep it very modest with a soup and a green salad because you don’t want to run up your host’s tab? People with firsthand experience offer advice: ‘If someone earns a fat salary, you can order whatever you want!’
Everyone knows that colleague who goes completely wild on the menu when it’s clear the boss is paying. ‘I’ll have the lobster, and a vodka martini, please.’ ‘Don’t be that person,’ says Guy. ‘I’ve sat at the table with people who first look at what’s most expensive on the menu, and only then try to figure out what that dish actually is. Sad, right?’
Risotto with mushrooms, please
Nandan takes his dining companions into consideration, not just when it comes to the bill. ‘I don’t order meat when I’m dining out with vegetarians,’ he says. ‘My dining companions didn’t notice, because I didn’t say anything—I just ordered something else.’ And when it comes to the prices on the menu, Nandan has another interesting rule of thumb: ‘When I’m hungry, I don’t order something I’ve never eaten before, especially if it’s expensive.’
Insult
‘It’s probably polite to order the cheapest dish,’ says Mary. ‘But also take into account the expectations of the dining companion who invited you. They probably expect that you might order something more expensive. Besides, isn’t it insulting if you choose something cheap? As if you think they can’t afford it.’
Foie gras, bring it on!
Let the host order first and base your choice on that, says Sean. ‘If my dining companion orders a martini and a starter with foie gras, I assume they don’t mind what I choose. If they have a carafe of water put on the table and order an inexpensive main course, I adapt accordingly.’
The boss is paying
‘The only time someone pays for my food is when I go out to eat through work. Then we’re given a budget,’ says Karl. ‘My colleagues and I simply order what we want, as long as we stay within budget.’
Lobster or not?
A tip for a date: ask for a recommendation. ‘When I’m asked out and we’re at a restaurant I don’t know, I say: everything on the menu looks good, what would you recommend? And if he says: amazing lobster, then I assume I can order that. But it does have to be something you like. If you’re craving spare ribs, then order them, right?’ Um… spare ribs on a date? Do you think that’s charming, until you’re up to your armpits in marinade?
Fat salary
It entirely depends on the budget of the person who invited you, says Jeff. ‘If that person earns a fat salary, you don’t have to worry at all. But don’t take advantage, because you’ll never be invited out for dinner again!’
Doggy bag
Lynn has experience with people who take everything they can get—when it’s free or when someone else is paying. ‘Those types will never get a treat from me,’ she says. Her rule of thumb, based on experience: ‘Don’t order more than one drink, don’t order anything more expensive than the most expensive starter, and don’t order extra to take home.’
No guilt
Another solution: simply don’t take part in this nonsense. Like David: ‘I never let anyone pay for me, so I don’t suffer from guilt. I simply order whatever I’m in the mood for. I love fish and steaks, so I usually order something more expensive than average. If I want a starter and my dining companion doesn’t, I just order one. And dessert too, if the opportunity arises. I don’t eat out that often, so I really don’t feel like holding back when I’m at a restaurant.’
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Source: Quora
