7 Things Vegetarians Don’t Want to Hear
Pfff, life as a vegetarian can be pretty exhausting. And yes, I speak from experience. I’m not talking about chopping “all” those vegetables, always having to explain that I don’t eat meat, or searching for meat substitutes without all the junk (because yes, there are plenty of those). What am I talking about? The questions you constantly get thrown at you. And these are the worst:
You’re one of those health freaks, aren’t you?
I wish. Because even as a vegetarian, you can try a little too hard to avoid getting a six-pack. Shock and awe, but we too (and don’t look at me as if I’m from Mars) eat bags full of greasy fries or an extra-creamy chocolate cake. We do it while binge-watching Netflix. Sitting down. And not on a yoga mat or cross-trainer. Oh, and did you know that (most) Neapolitan and Roman pizzas are vegetarian?
Don’t you get tired of eating vegetables all the time?
Tired? Of answering your questions, yes. Of vegetables, no. The world is much bigger than just fish and meat. The meat-substitute section is even almost bigger than the meat and fish sections. Try it yourself sometime. But watch out: there’s a chance you might actually like it too.
Don’t you miss meat?
When the Chicken Sensation is back at McDonald’s and the whole city is covered in billboards, I sometimes start salivating too. Meat may be out of sight for vegetarians, but it’s not (always) out of mind.
Eating out must be difficult.
Not really. Much to the dismay of my bank account. The menu consists of much more than just meat. And plenty of Michelin-starred restaurants also offer vegetarian menus. But thanks for your concern.
Plants have feelings too.
pLaNtS hAvE fEeLiNgS tOo. And are you really saying this while sitting next to me eating your hamburger with iceberg lettuce?
Can’t you just remove the meat?
Sometimes. But removing the meat from a BBQ chicken pizza à la Dr. Bibber is taking it a bit too far for me. I’d rather leave my tweezers at home when I go out to eat. And aren’t I lucky that I simply love pizza margherita?
You eat fish, though, right?
Unless a rare fish species that is one hundred percent plant-based has been discovered, no. Pescatarians do eat fish. But vegetarians do not, in principle.
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