My husband ordered a cheese board in Japan (and it was a bad idea)
Our holiday in Japan was a succession of culinary highlights. Fancy restaurants and snack bars, from savory pancakes to bento boxes for the road: everything was equally delicious. The only setback was the cheese board my husband ordered. A culinary blunder he had to pay for.
A honeymoon in Japan—can you imagine my happiness? Backpacks on and off we went, from hotel to hotel, from Tokyo to Hiroshima and from Kyoto to Osaka, on that lightning-fast train. What an experience! Plenty of art and culture, cities and nature, but above all: the food, ohhh the food.
Fish, more fish
The best fish I have ever eaten was served on my plate in a Tokyo suburb. No one in the restaurant spoke English, except for a shy teenager who apparently was supposed to be doing the washing-up. He was sent over to our table to translate the menu, but he got no further than: fish. And that: also fish. Here: more fish. So we ate fish, and it was delicious, one course after another.
Whisky and cola for the thirst
It wasn’t only the fancy restaurants that I loved. The vending machines that are literally everywhere were a surprise every time, too. Hot coffee in a can? It simply rolls out of that machine if you press the wrong button. I discovered Calpis, a fizzy soft drink made from milk (you have to taste it to believe it), and noticed that you can order ginger ale everywhere. Those vending machines also serve alcoholic drinks—and not just a little. A big gulp of whisky and cola when I thought I had pulled out an ordinary cola because I was thirsty shifted the holiday mood into a higher gear.
Wafting brie
But there was one thing we hardly encountered anywhere in Japan, and that was cheese. Not so strange, either, because traditionally little dairy is eaten in Asia. Cheese entered Japanese food culture during the reconstruction after the Second World War, when American soldiers were stationed in the country. Apparently, you can buy grated cheese in supermarkets, and they even make a kind of cheesecake, but we didn’t see a nice piece of crumbly cheese or a wedge of wafting brie anywhere. We also heard from an insider that Japanese people are disgusted by the smell of cheese—not so strange if you didn’t grow up with it.
Eyes lighting up
Until my husband, in a fancy jazz café in Kyoto, spotted a cheese board on the bar-snacks menu. His eyes lit up; he is crazy about cheese. Naturally, he ordered it right away, along with a nice glass of beer, because this was going to be a treat. Or so he thought.
A feast for the eyes
All the dishes, even when we bought something at a snack bar in a station or grabbed a quick bite from the supermarket, looked beautiful. Beautifully packaged, lovely tableware, carefully arranged plates, a sprig of greenery and colorful droplets of sauce: a feast for the eyes. That cheese board looked incredible, too. A lead-gray plate with subtle decoration around the edge, delicate little forks for spearing the cubes of cheese—the whole picture.
Spoiled cheese lover
But… it was La Vache Qui Rit. Yes, you read that correctly. That processed cheese spread for children’s sandwiches and school trips. In three flavors: green, red and plain. Still in its aluminum-foil packaging. Perhaps an exotic delicacy on the other side of the world, but not what our spoiled cheese-loving palates had expected. Sorry, darling—it looked too good to be true. All the meals in Japan were a huge success, but a cheese board? You’re better off ordering that when you’re back home.
