People with disgusting table manners: would you say something about it?
Table manners: there are quite a few of them. It’s not entirely illogical that they exist, because watching someone talk with their elbows on the table while smacking their lips and shoveling food into their mouth with only a fork is not exactly appetizing. At home, we’ll certainly say something about it, but do we do the same with that colleague we don’t actually know very well, or that one friend of your girlfriend?
Raised by wolves
Sabina: “Just like my grandmother used to, I ask whether someone was raised by wolves. Nice and subtle.”
Oh no, don’t slurp!
Lauretta: “If there’s one thing I find unappetizing, it’s slurping soup. And that’s exactly what that one colleague I worked with in a restaurant did during the staff meal. I never said anything about it; I don’t think it’s really appropriate in front of all the other colleagues. On the other hand, I would say something to my boyfriend’s housemate, who always stuffs crisps into his mouth and eats with his mouth open. So yes, I would say something, depending on how bad it is and who’s there.”
Wait, is that how you eat oatmeal?!
Sharon: “My husband is a sweetheart, really. Well-mannered, smart, funny, incredibly handsome—we didn’t get married for nothing. All good, you might say, until during quarantine we suddenly sat at the breakfast table together every morning, something that had never happened in the rush of our pre-corona lives, because rush, busy, late; you know the drill. So until corona, I had never known how he ate his oatmeal. And believe me: this is Not. Okay. It gets shoveled down with mouth-smacking and slurping and God knows what other sounds. For the first few mornings, I watched in a mixture of amazement and disgust, covering it with the cloak of love, as you do in a relationship. But that wasn’t sustainable. I said something about it. In a not-so-subtle way, I’ll admit. Since then, we no longer have breakfast together. We’re still married, though.”
Just like the queen
Delilah: “I would never call someone out on their eating habits. Maybe young children, but with adults that stage seems long behind us. And more importantly: everyone should enjoy eating and feel good about it. I would never want to make anyone feel bad with my comments, and I want to respect everyone’s dignity. Besides, if I were in another culture, I might be doing everything wrong and being rude in their eyes! I’m not particularly royalist, but what I do find wonderful is the anecdote that when one of Juliana’s guests drank the finger bowl during a state banquet, she didn’t hesitate for a second and did the same, so the person in question wouldn’t have to feel ashamed. Who knows, maybe I’ll try that next time at a ribs restaurant and see who’s really well-mannered at the table…”
Just turn my head away
Wieke: “If I’m sitting at the table with them, I think I would say something about it. But it also depends on the company I’m in: if I’m alone with friends, I think I would say something. But if it’s family, I’m probably a bit more cautious. Of course, it also depends on what the strange table manner is. If it’s truly downright disgusting, I’ll say something; if it’s clearly just the way someone happens to do something, I’ll keep it to myself. And I’ll simply look the other way.”
Read also:
