Snackspert tests Lidl’s vegan kebab-tzatziki börek and other snacks

Eke Bosman, better known as Instagram phenomenon @snackspert, ate his first frikandel as a baby, hates vlammetjes, has devoured at least 1,500 burgers in his lifetime, suspects there’s more mayonnaise than blood in his body, and shares his best and worst snack reviews on FavorFlav. Today he tries Lidl’s new vegan kebab-tzatziki börek, Albert Heijn’s falafel burger, and the frikandel, frietpatat, and souflesse from Heertje Friet.

Vegan kebab-tzatziki börek, Lidl

No, this isn’t a pale penis preserved in spirits; no, this is Lidl’s vegan kebab-tzatziki börek. You know, that’s what I like so much about this supermarket: weird snacks regularly appear, and sometimes they miss the mark, while other times they hit the spot. Lidl isn’t afraid, and I like that. And I have to say, this one is pretty okay. It’s definitely tastier than Appie’s kebab sandwich, so that’s already a win. But I’m not quite sure whether the fresh taste of tzatziki really goes that well with a kebab filling. As a result, it’s not a particularly striking snack, which is a shame, because what a snack generally needs is a sparkling touch that makes you say, “hey, delicious, I can keep going for a bit.” Don’t get me wrong, it’s a perfectly decent snack (though it really could have spent longer in the oven), but it’s also a snack with a lot of potential. And that potential hasn’t been fully realised. ⭐️⭐️⭐️
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📍: Lidl
📱: @lidlnederland
💰: 89 cents

Falafel burger, Albert Heijn

Vegan falafel. A pleonasm, like white snow and green grass. Honestly, does falafel with animal ingredients even exist? I don’t think so. But anyway, it’s obviously a marketing gimmick: put “vegan” on it and it stands out more than an average billboard saying “yeah, buy this new product.” Besides a marketing trick, Albert Heijn has also delivered a nice product. You’re better off putting it in the Airfryer, because it falls apart fairly quickly when you fry it, but in terms of flavour it’s a really lovely burger. The taste of chickpeas combined with a little lemon juice (always do this!) is golden. The burger also contains aubergine, spinach, and onion, but the amount of onion is about as small as the amount of alcohol in an average Radler. It could definitely use more. Otherwise: excellent burger. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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📍: Albert Heijn
📱: @albertheijn
💰: 2.29 euros for 2 pieces

Frikandel, frietpatat and souflesse, Heertje Friet, Amsterdam

I have to admit: every frikandel tastes especially delicious when you’ve been on holiday for a few weeks. But the fact that they let this pleasure stick bob around in a bath full of mayonnaise at Heertje Friet in Amsterdam deserves a deep bow. Delicious frikandel, truly top-notch. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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And the frietpatat is also really, really deliciously crispy—very impressive for something that was still on its way to my house for another fifteen minutes. Good potato flavour too, though it could have used a little more salt. But fortunately, everyone on Earth has salt at home, and if you don’t, you’re a strange person. Sorry, but that’s just how it is. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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The souflesse was perfectly fine. I could now devote an entire piece of prose to this snack, but it was simply perfectly fine. A little expensive, though. ⭐️⭐️⭐️ ½
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📍: Heertje Friet, Amsterdam
📱: @heertjefriet
💰: 2.75 euros for frikandel mayo, 3.50 euros for souflesse and 6 euros for a large frietpatat (the rest was still in the bag)

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