Opinionated

Snackspert: ‘These new products from Albert Heijn are simply worthless’

Albert Heijn empanada caprese

Eke Bosman, better known as Instagram phenomenon @snackspert, ate his first frikandel as a baby, hates vlammetjes, has already devoured at least 1,500 burgers in his lifetime, suspects there is more mayonnaise in his body than blood, and shares his best and worst snack reviews on FavorFlav. This week, Snackspert is not amused by Albert Heijn’s new snacks, but enjoyed loaded fries and cauliflower shawarma.

Foto van culinair journalist Snackspert Eke Bosman

Beef teriyaki fries from Cafetaria Bienvenue, Vught

A moan of pleasure—you only hear that in Vught! Sorry for this vulgar rhyme, but honestly, that is the sound I made after the beef teriyaki fries from Cafetaria Bienvenue were placed in front of me. But wow, this was deliciously messy. The fries come with teriyaki-marinated beef tenderloin(!), bean sprouts, spring onion, truffle mayonnaise and Parmesan. I understand the combination of truffle mayo and Parmesan, but combined with teriyaki I find it a little tricky—especially when it comes to truffle mayonnaise bought from a wholesaler. Luckily, that didn’t spoil the fun, because the fries were genuinely fried to perfection. And the meat was of very high quality—impressive. Add a little spring onion and it’s delicious. The bean sprouts weren’t necessary, but hey, you can’t have everything. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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📍: Cafetaria Bienvenue, Vught
📱: @cafetariabienvenue
💰: 6.95 euros

Empanada snacks from Albert Heijn

I know a lot of people got incredibly angry about these new products from Albert Heijn. I understand them, but honestly, I’m always in favor of mixing different food cultures. Otherwise we never would have had the kapsalon, you know. But sometimes I understand the frustration, because empanadas with roti inside? How does that work? One filled with spiced pumpkin, yardlong beans, peas and carrot—well. Spiced pumpkin too; what is actually spiced about it? And what is roti about it?! Dough inside dough doesn’t work for me. They have removed just as much soul from the empanada as Harry Potter did from Voldemort back then. Very poor effort. ⭐️
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The chicken piri-piri empanada shouldn’t really be here either, but secretly it’s quite tasty. The sauce is strong, the chicken thigh is deliciously tender, but it isn’t a real taste sensation. Just fine. ⭐️⭐️⭐️
And then the caprese empanada. I mean, come on. Tomato, mozzarella, basil—those are very standard ingredients. Caprese is only delicious when top-quality products are used. And this is genuinely dodgy supermarket quality, with so little respect that the police might show up. Worthless. ⭐️
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📍: Albert Heijn
📱: @albertheijn
💰: 4 euros each

Falafel flatbread and cauliflower shawarma from Mima, Amsterdam

No, this isn’t the contents of my stomach during last week’s stomach flu—don’t worry. This is ‘just’ a falafel flatbread, from the new Mima restaurant in Amsterdam Oud West! And I sound very enthusiastic, but as a reviewer I of course have to remain strict. The falafel is okay… a bit like the performance in bed of that one casual fling who also likes making snow angels because he or she considers that fun enough already. Anyway, it’s a little boring, which is a shame because the rest of the flatbread is genuinely good. Nicely filled too, with lovely hummus and refreshing cabbage. ⭐️⭐️⭐️
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But! To cut straight to the chase: the pita with cauliflower and shawarma spices is really excellent. Wonderfully seasoned, a bit like the better shawarma you eat abroad—and no, not like the kind you get at 3 a.m. on the Brink in Deventer or something. The cauliflower is firm, but becomes lovely and soft in your mouth. The pomegranate seeds provide the acidity, which is very pleasant. A really lovely pita. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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📍: Mima, Amsterdam
📱: @mima.freshmediterranean
💰: 7.95 euros for falafel, 8.95 euros for cauliflower shawarma

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