Snackspert’s week: ‘I’d sooner lick Matthijs van Nieuwkerk’s armpits’
Eke Bosman, better known as Instagram phenomenon @snackspert, ate his first frikandel as a baby, hates vlammetjes, has already devoured at least 1,000 burgers in his life, suspects there is more mayonnaise than blood in his body, and shares his best and worst snack reviews on FavorFlav every other week.
No joke, divine
Fried food from De Patatzaak in Sloten
Sure, you can say that you’ve found the perfect partner, but have you seen this? The love of your life doesn’t have a pounding heart, but can be found in a snack bar like De Patatzaak in Sloten. I rarely come across a snack bar that is simply perfect, but De Patatzaak is one of them. Why? The fries are unbelievably crispy, have such a delicious potato flavor, and the Oliehoorn fritessaus goes with them just as well as Nick goes with Simon. Then there’s the frikandel: I’ve never had one this good. Why is this one perfect? Because it’s fried perfectly down to the second. The crust is one with the inside, resulting in a better mouthfeel than that of the average porn star. The kaassoufflé is exactly as a kaassoufflé should be: deliciously crispy and with delicious cheese. Nothing more needs to be done. Boys, girls, and people who identify differently: go to this traditional snack bar and you’ll have a better day than the average tourist at Keukenhof. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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?: De Patatzaak, Sloten
?: n/a
?: around 7 euros
Classic Burger from Lidl
Sometimes a mascara from Kruidvat costing a few euros turns out to work better than some expensive-brand mascara costing 40 euros. I’ve never used mascara, but I’ve heard people say that the aforementioned example is a fact, so I’ll just take their word for it. But what I’m trying to say is that this product, Lidl’s Classic Burger, might just be the Kruidvat mascara of supermarket snacks. However, it’s a little more nuanced than that. If you swipe for a moment, it looks more like the average Lowlands toilet on Saturday morning, but nothing could be further from the truth. For just 1.99 euros, you get a burger consisting not only of a bun and meat, but also cheese, pickles, and sauce! That’s almost impossible! But it’s true. The supermarket burgers from Rustlers could learn a thing or two from this. Amateurs. For that price, the Classic Burger is a very good product, but don’t expect to never want anything else again. There are much better burgers in the world, but they’re also considerably more expensive. You do the math. It’s a very good burger for a 1.99-euro burger. A few questions remain: how on earth did Lidl manage to get the price so low, and where does the meat etc. come from? Food (haha) for thought, then. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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?: Lidl
?: @lidlnederland
?: 1.99 euros
Food for the bin
Beetroot balls, Albert Heijn
Someone recently asked whether the reviews could be shorter for once. Well, here you go: I’d sooner lick Matthijs van Nieuwkerk’s armpits than ever eat this again. ⭐️
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?: Albert Heijn
?: @albertheijn
?: 2.50 euros
