The life of a cilantro hater
Cilantro: you either love it or hate it. There is no middle ground. Nobody is Switzerland. And although I know I shouldn’t get so worked up about it, I do anyway. Even to the point of angry outbursts.
But be honest… You’re eating a delicious cheesy taco and suddenly someone shoves your face into a tub of soapy dishwater? That’s awful, right? Well, that’s how I feel when there’s a piece of cilantro in my food. You’d be angry too, wouldn’t you?
Okay, I confess: I think I’m the bridezilla of cilantro haters. If you know me, you know not to serve me anything with cilantro. If you don’t know me (well) and do it anyway… Well, then you’re probably grateful we’re not good friends.
Dishwasher broken?
To describe it even more precisely, cilantro tastes like a plate from the dishwasher that hasn’t been rinsed properly. Still covered in soap. And then mixed with an aroma of doll hair (no questions, please). Yes, yes, I know it’s genetically determined. The tasting of the soapy flavor, that is. But why did anyone ever decide that this shit was edible in the first place?
It used to be possible to avoid it on the menu, but these days it’s used as if it were salt and pepper. It doesn’t need to be on everything, ladies and gentlemen.
Coriandre
How to ask for directions, order coffee or ask the time in another country? I don’t care. But I can pronounce cilantro in almost every language. A sort of safety net for myself. And for my travel companions. Because if I accidentally order something with cilantro abroad, I can assure you: bam, vacation feeling gone. See cilantro on the menu, coriandolo, kişniş, coentro or xiāngcài? GET OUT OF THERE!
Guacamole
I love Mexican food, but I’ve already found myself on thin ice a few times. Not cool. When I ask ‘what’s in it’, what I really mean is: is there cilantro in it? The fact that you want to ruin my favorite dip with this green evil deserves some warning signs. Thank you very much. Fortunately, I’m not alone in my cilantro hate. There’s even an entire Facebook group full of coriander-bashing—and it’s hilarious, even if you do like cilantro.
I propose that cilantro be classified as an allergen. So that I can always see in bold on an ingredients list that I need to put the meal salad back very quickly. Who’s signing the petition?
Also read:
- Lidl’s donut ice creams put to the test
- This is what (Michelin-starred) chefs find really annoying about guests
- Here’s how to send food back
