What’s in your baking horoscope for 2021?
Do you only conjure flames from the oven? Or are you actually a kitchen whiz who isn’t fazed by making a perfect strawberry charlotte with a bow around it? Your knack for all those precise pastry jobs is written in the stars.
Capricorn: weighing and measuring everything
December 22 – January 19
Such a stickler for precision, that Capricorn. Everything is weighed to the exact gram, they use a thermometer to check whether the flour is at the right temperature, and they even weigh the eggs again, just to be sure. Cakes and pies always turn out perfectly, but standing in the kitchen with a Capricorn isn’t exactly fun.
Aquarius
January 20 – February 19
Good grief, Aquarius, everything doesn’t have to be gluten-free and organic, does it? Enjoying something made with butter is difficult for this star sign, because they’re always counting calories and worrying about the exploitation of bees. Newsflash: maple syrup is just as bad for your body as sugar, and your vegan brownies with beans are inedible.
Pisces
February 20 – March 20
Bake cookies? Not Pisces—they go straight for fancy macarons. And if they don’t come out of the oven perfectly, they’re impossible to please all day. Pisces aims high in everything they do. Usually that works out well, but one collapsed soufflé or a few tuilles with a browned edge is enough to thoroughly ruin Pisces’ misplaced optimism.
Aries
March 21 – April 20
Meringue splashed across the kitchen cabinets, raspberry coulis in the recessed spotlights: everything Aries does happens with tremendous energy. They bake three cakes at once, karaoke along to their Celine Dion playlist (also an Aries, did you know?) and take photos for their Insta in between. And what ultimately ends up on the dessert plates? Some collapsed cream puffs, but they’re decorated with plenty of flair and chocolate sauce.
Taurus
April 21 – May 20
Focus, focus, focus: that’s Taurus. So they keep perfecting their fudge recipe endlessly, with total concentration. One more time: slightly higher temperature. One more time: a little more chocolate. One more time: cut slightly bigger cubes. Come on, Taurus, let it go and make something else for once, because we’re all fudged out.
Gemini
May 21 – June 20
Clever ones, those Geminis. They buy a frozen apple pie at the supermarket, put it in the oven ten minutes before the guests arrive and voilà: maximum effect with minimal effort. But if they also serve ready-made whipped cream from a can, the guests will probably leave again pretty quickly. Why?
Cancer
June 21 – July 22
Dear Cancer, you can’t bake to save your life. Even simple shortbread cookies come out of your oven black and hard as a hockey puck (was it accidentally on microwave mode?), Saroma pudding doesn’t set but remains a chemical milkshake, and when you turn out your ring cake, the batter drips into your socks. Give it up, darling, and simply enjoy the culinary skills of the other star signs.
Leo
July 23- August 23
No one knew Leo could cook and bake, but then they suddenly conjure up a beautiful lemon meringue pie, or a breathtaking drip cake in three perfect layers. Well, they manage that too, alongside their entire glamorous life filled with celebrities and hilarious stories. Even the kitchen apron and matching oven mitt look sexy on them.
Virgo
August 24 – September 23
Don’t cry, Virgo, just because your cream puffs have failed for the umpteenth time. Virgo is such a sensitive star sign that even the slightest setback in the kitchen sends them into a days-long depression. Take a leaf out of Aries’ book, throw some chocolate sauce and m&m’s over them and forget the whole kitchen debacle.
Libra
September 24 – October 23
The name gives it away: Libra is an incredibly good baker. They can whip up a cake without breaking a sweat, pull a large apple pie from the oven with ease, and even an ice cream cake always works out for them. Frustrating if you’re not quite as good at baking, but you can’t really get angry with Libra because their coconut macaroons are far too delicious.
Scorpio
October 24 – November 22
A cake with pistachios, rosewater and sesame seeds, cheesecake with lemongrass and lavender marshmallows: yep, Scorpio is an artist in the kitchen. Recipes aren’t really their thing; they’d much rather come up with everything themselves. Scorpio, how is it possible that you don’t have your own little bakery by now? This is all divine!
Sagittarius
November 23 – December 21
Waste not, want not—and following that motto, Sagittarius always knows how to turn leftovers into something delicious. A few old oliebollen become a wonderful bread pudding, leftover Easter eggs are transformed into a chocolate cake, and the last strawberries of the season disappear into delicious cupcakes. Thrift and diligence, but are you keeping an eye on the expiration date?
