Drinks according to your zodiac sign
Ooh, tricky: an ordinary beer, a bottle of expensive champagne, cocktails or a Radler zero-point-zero—what should you order for your friends? Put an end to that nagging uncertainty, check their horoscope and, magically, you’ll know exactly what they’d most like to raise a glass with.
Capricorn
December 21 – January 20
Just a pilsner. Capricorn is no-nonsense: no crazy specialty beers, trendy Jupiler or wheat beer with a slice of lemon, just an ordinary small glass straight from the tap. Heineken or Amstel? Capricorn doesn’t really care about the difference either. He won’t have more than two, because he still has to drive. Always sensible, that Capricorn. And a little boring…
Aquarius
January 21 – February 19
As the name of this star sign already suggests, Aquarius loves a large glass of water. Vodka too, by the way, because that simply means water in Russian. Or something like that. For the rest of the night, Aquarius sticks to clear drinks: he likes genever, or gin, or tequila… His philosophy: anything transparent can’t give you a hangover. You might be in for a nasty surprise, Aquarius.
Pisces
February 20 – March 19
Who’s getting a round? Well, not Pisces, anyway. At the beginning of the evening, she gets something to drink for everyone, and after that she doesn’t offer again. But if someone else gets a round, Pisces is happy to have something too. And when the bitterballen platter arrives, she’ll definitely wolf down five of the fifteen bitterballen. Going out is expensive? Pisces thinks it’s not too bad, while her friends stare in shock at their empty wallets.
Aries
March 20 – April 20
Champagne! Aries knows how to turn every occasion into a party with popping corks. A new job, a new relationship, a birthday or an anniversary, of course—we have to celebrate that, and Aries generously orders a beautiful bottle of bubbly. The cat’s birthday, the chance of winning the jackpot in the national lottery and the feast day of Saint Juttemis are also reasons for Aries to raise a glass. Not with just any bubbly, only the real thing: real Champi, preferably from a magnum. And of course Aries isn’t too stingy to pick up the bill.
Taurus
April 21 – May 20
At the pub, Taurus studies the entire blackboard on the wall; on the terrace, they read the menu from front to back, only to order something they don’t have after all. Can they make a Bloody Mary? Is a gin and tonic with rosemary perhaps possible? Do they have wheat beer on tap? Is the juice for the tequila sunrise freshly squeezed? That’s not how you make friends with the bartender, Taurus.
Gemini
May 21 – June 20
Liver damage, being overdue, having to get up early tomorrow or Sober Month—whatever reason Gemini has, this party animal celebrates everything without alcohol. A Radler zero-point-zero, alcohol-free Warsteiner or a surprising glass of alcohol-free wine is Gemini’s order. Friends worriedly wonder what will happen if Gemini accidentally takes a sip of wine one day…
Cancer
June 21 – July 20
Cancer goes for happy hour: a table full of beers for the whole group at half price. Cancer takes it in stride that they then have to sit ridiculously early in a honky-tonk-style bar. Cancer knows perfectly well that the music here is awful, that the evening hasn’t really got going by seven o’clock and that crisps alone don’t exactly make a luxurious snack platter, but hey, ten shots for twenty euros—who could say no to that?
Leo
July 21 – August 20
Think of the fab four from Sex in the City: there’s a good chance all four of them have Leo as their star sign. Because Leo is fashionable, independent and… devoted to cocktails. A Cosmopolitan, like Miranda, Samantha, Charlotte and Carrie drink, or an Old Fashioned, a perfect Negroni or a Disaronno Sour, Leo knows how to find the best cocktail bars and has a good sense of which cocktail suits which moment.
Virgo
August 21 – September 20
Virgo takes a wine course, drives to France to collect his own Chablis from a winemaker he discovered himself, tastes every bottle before a dinner and has something to criticize about the entire wine pairing at the restaurant. Don’t get annoyed; simply marvel and lean comfortably against that wine encyclopedia, because once Virgo knows which wine you like, you can expect endless wine tips and gift bottles in that category. Cheers!
Libra
September 21 – October 20
Libra does enjoy a drink—so much so that all that alcohol goes not only into the glass, but also into the pan. The home menu consists exclusively of boeuf bourguignon, mussels in white wine, robust beef stew in brown beer or other dishes containing at least a bottle of booze. Dessert? How about whisky chocolate cake? Tiramisú? Flambéed crêpes? Or simply a lovely espresso—with a nice glass of cognac beside it? Enjoy, but in moderation, Libra!
Scorpio
October 21 – November 20
You didn’t think there were still people who spoon advocaat topped with whipped cream into their mouths, but Scorpios younger than eighty also enjoy that sweetness one spoonful at a time. Other Scorpio favorites: berry genever, a beer-and-shot combo or an old-fashioned fruit punch. Deliciously retro!
Sagittarius
November 21 – December 20
What are those unusual smells coming from the kitchen? Yes, that’s because Sagittarius is making beer themselves. There’s a large pot bubbling away on the stove and everything smells of fresh straw, dog biscuits and wet newspaper. While the bottles are fermenting in the utility room, that handy Sagittarius is putting together some creative labels and already building a website: voilà, another new microbrewery. Warning, Sagittarius: don’t get high on your own supply, so take it easy with all those tasting sessions in the weeks ahead.
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