Discover which cheese suits your zodiac sign: a cheese horoscope for every zodiac sign

Did you know that the zodiac is actually an overflowing cheeseboard? Whether you love extra-mature crumbly cheese, a pungent French stinky cheese, or a creamy brie, your cheese preferences are surprisingly determined by your zodiac sign. Ready to consult the stars and put together a cheeseboard that’s perfect for you? Get your cheese knife ready.

Cheese horoscope

The stars influence not only your behavior, but also your cheese choices. In this Cheese Horoscope, you’ll discover which cheese best suits your zodiac sign. Whether you love a robust Gorgonzola or a mild brie, your stars will reveal your cheese preferences. Read on and discover what the zodiac has in store for your cheeseboard.

Capricorn

December 22 – January 19

Young-matured Dutch cheese. Really? Yes, it doesn’t get more predictable than with Capricorn. Goats are serious, frugal, and have no time for urban nonsense. Cream cheese tea?! Burrata in your dessert? Just act normal! Naturally, they usually bring their own sandwiches, nicely topped with Dutch cheese. Frivolity means adding a slice of cucumber or a radish. Well, well.

Aquarius

January 20 – February 19

As a child, Aquarius’s mom used to put those sweet little Babybel cheeses in their lunchbox, and on vacation they always ate La Vache Qui Rit. If Aquarius is honest, they still prefer these children’s cheeses and other processed cheese. Everyone laughs about it, but Aquarius simply enjoys it! Processed cheese on white bread is as far as Aquarius is willing to go with cheese experiments.

Pisces

February 20 – March 20

No, Pisces, “toe cheese” isn’t a Frisian specialty. Let’s make one thing clear: Pisces aren’t scared of cheese that smells a little. They are outspoken fans of époisses, a gigantic stinky cheese from France’s Burgundy region. An aromatic red smear-ripened cheese that owes part of its characteristic smell to the marc de bourgogne used to wash its rind.

Aries

March 21 – April 20

You probably can’t delight any zodiac sign quite as much with a generous cheeseboard as Aries. Relaxing after the meal and chatting away, naturally with a convivial glass of eau de vie, is classic Aries. The entire cheeseboard is gone in no time, even if seven courses have already preceded it, but if they have to name a favorite: a robust Spanish manchego, eaten rind and all.

Taurus

April 21 – May 20

Have you ever tried burrata? No, not yet? Wait, Taurus is already getting it out of the fridge for you. Hold on, because it tastes much better at room temperature. With beautiful tomatoes—not from the vegetable garden, but from the greengrocer, flown straight in from sunny Sicily—and a few drops of five-year-old balsamic vinegar. It’s clear: Taurus is the gourmand of the zodiac, and the creamier, fattier, and more luscious the cheese, the better. And pre-grated cheese from a bag? Never!

Gemini

May 21 – June 20

Geminis can recite trivia about the most trivial subjects until you’re sick of hearing it. Such as the fact that the reed warbler very rarely hides in reeds and never sings, that the refrigerator door is opened more often than the bathroom door in most households, and that it is illegal in Las Vegas to sell your dentures. Naturally, Gemini will spot a piece of French morbier in the display case. Did you know that the layer of ash covers the morning milk before the curd from the evening milk is added? And have you ever tried Turkish kaymak? Sigh.

Cancer

June 21 – July 22

The boss of drinks-party snacks. Whether it’s traditional cubes of Gouda with a piece of stem ginger on top, or a skewer with mini mozzarella, tomato, and basil, Cancer immediately makes a generous amount so everyone can enjoy drinks together. Whether it’s all that surprising from a culinary perspective is debatable, but it’s certainly convivial. The more cheese, the better. Anyone for cheese soufflés or cheese sticks? The deep fryer is already on.

Leo

July 23 – August 22

Leo is always watching their figure, and when it comes to calories, cheese is completely off limits. During the day, she dutifully spreads cottage cheese on a spelt cracker, adds a little chive and pepper to fluff it up—super healthy. She even experiments with cashew cheese, because apparently it’s environmentally friendly too. But at night, she stands in front of the open fridge, devouring the tastiest Dutch cheeses and chunks of brie. Or grills a greasy cheeseburger. With extra cheese. That diet isn’t going so well, is it, Leo?

Virgo

August 23 – September 22

Virgo asks first: what are we drinking with it? Because the combination of cheese and wine is a delicate matter in Virgo’s eyes. Port with a beautiful piece of crumbly extra-mature cheese, crisp Sauvignon with chèvre, one last sip of red wine with a cube of Gruyère. Bite by bite, sip by sip, Virgo quietly enjoys every moment. And naturally, this perfectionist also knows how best to store cheese.

Libra

September 23 – October 22

Strangely enough, Libra isn’t particularly fond of cheese. It may have something to do with the lactose intolerance they suspect in their rumbling little intestines, or perhaps with their fussy table manners (is that red onion? Eww!), but it’s hard to say. Cheese in a toasted sandwich? Meh. Cheese on a pizza or a hamburger? All right, then. But Libra really doesn’t need to see any more cheese.

Scorpio

October 23 – November 22

Even when it’s thirty degrees in the shade, Scorpio is slicing baguette, chopping garlic, and grating cheese, because cheese fondue is absolutely Scorpio’s all-time favorite meal. Not a ready-made bag from the supermarket, but cheese fondue made with freshly grated Gruyère and Emmental, a generous splash of white wine and a dash of kirsch—or better yet, tequila. Secretly, they even make cheese fondue alone sometimes, because Scorpio is simply at their best with a fondue fork in hand.

Sagittarius

November 23 – December 21

Cheese is only cheese to Sagittarius if it has a thick layer of blue mold on it. Naturally, not the blue fluff on forgotten sandwiches, but a heavily veined Gorgonzola, pungent Roquefort or a piece of Stilton—those are enough to wake Sagittarius up in the middle of the night. Add a little fig bread and a glass of port, and Archer is in the seventh cheese heaven.

Build a cheeseboard

Now that you know which cheese suits your zodiac sign, it’s time to create your cheeseboard. Remember that you don’t have to rely solely on your zodiac sign; experimenting with new flavors can be surprising too. So grab your favorite cheese, enjoy a glass of wine, and let the stars guide your next cheese adventure.

Disclaimer: any resemblance to real people in my circle of friends is purely coincidental.

Read also:

• 12 of the best cheese fondue spots in Amsterdam
• Cottage cheese: how to use this protein-rich cheese in the kitchen in many versatile ways
• The great ham-and-cheese croissant test: this is the very best one from the supermarket