Why I Hate Mushrooms (That Texture!)
Things used to be better. Well, that certainly wasn’t the case when it came to my parents and my eating habits. I was such a picky eater that, in my early years, my dad had to pinch my nose shut so my mom could force a spoonful of food into my mouth. I. Liked. Nothing. Except pizza. And pancakes. And hamburgers. Yes, I was a truly terrible eater…
The Mushroom. DISGUSTING
But I turned things around. Sometime in my teenage years, a whole new world opened up to me. The world called: healthy eating. Varied eating. Sometimes vegetarian eating. Well, in short: just eating normally. I still sometimes joke with my mom that I only discovered all that later because she simply didn’t prepare food very well. She absolutely does not find that joke funny. (Sorry, Mom!)
These days, I also consider myself a true kitchen princess and genuinely enjoy cooking little works of art. But there is one thing, one ingredient, that I will not let into my kitchen. It never will. The mushroom. DISGUSTING.
Wow, calm down. Why the hatred?
That texture, people: that textúre. I don’t even mind the taste all that much: I can manage a smooth mushroom soup (but I don’t enjoy it, to be honest), but put a piece of mushroom in my food and I’m done. Or, well… done… I spend the next 20 minutes dissecting my entire meal so I can be one hundred percent sure that there isn’t a piece left anywhere. And then my food is cold and I’m cranky. That’s what happens every time there’s a mushroom in my food.
That texture… rubber
And what exactly is so bad about that texture? No matter how you prepare it, it is genuinely impossible to eat. Rubber. Grossly smooth. You think it might be nothing but soft mush, and then suddenly it has that bite. It looks a bit like a snail in terms of color: it simply already looks disgusting. And it wobbles when you take it out. And raw, it looks as though you would have been better off leaving it in the ground.
All poisonous, as far as I’m concerned
I was warned a lot as a child that some mushrooms were poisonous anyway. As far as I’m concerned, they can all be poisonous. Just leave them in the ground. I find them creepy. People who can genuinely serve a portobello as a main course and actually enjoy it: I don’t trust you.
Also read:
- Raw vegetables? Better not – if you want to stay reasonably healthy
- “EUGH, DISGUSTING”: the things we absolutely did not like as children
- Veggie burger with shiitakes and mushrooms
