Why You Shouldn’t Drink Salmari After Thirty
Adeline loves food, lots of it and often, both at home and out. Usually that goes well, but sometimes it doesn’t. In this series, Sunday Roast, she shares her curiosities. This time: why you shouldn’t drink Salmari after thirty. ‘This was the worst hangover of my life.’
The problem with a hangover is that the most memorable one is so epic that it overshadows all your previous hangovers. Not long ago, I suddenly found myself crawling to the toilet bowl like a fifteen-year-old teenager, my stomach pulsating. And I was thirty-seven. What on earth possessed me?
The magic word: salty liquorice liqueur
The person responsible for this life-threatening drink calls it a ‘spicy and refreshing salty liquorice liqueur’. I prefer to call it the poison of foolishness. In this case, we’re talking about Salmari. I don’t know when this concoction suddenly became commonplace in the Netherlands, but apparently I somehow missed the memo about the havoc it can wreak. How careless.
‘Drink drink drink’
The problem with Salmari is that you never simply enjoy it as one drink with your coffee. No, no, it’s always part of an evening of slightly too convivial dining with plenty of wine, and then someone suddenly shouts this magic word ecstatically. If you’re unlucky, people start cheering in agreement. Politely declining is no longer an option, and things also get very student-like very quickly. I genuinely heard someone shouting ‘drink drink drink’ in my ear. I had flashback after flashback and hadn’t felt so much like a teenager in years.
Until I hugged the toilet bowl in an intimate embrace the next morning. Or perhaps especially at that moment.
Dropshot
Back in my day, Salmari was simply called dropshot. But somehow, I always managed to cleverly dodge those shots. Just like Schrobbelèr during carnival (if you know you know), berry gin at the youth club (?) and tequila at work outings (particularly unwise). Just the smell and taste give me a mild case of reflux. The fact that I’m talking here about the baby-related kind of reflux proves once again that I may actually be too old for knocking back Salmari.
Vomit out of your nose
Salmari does things to you. A friend of mine once even had a conversation under the influence of Salmari with a claims adjuster after a fire at her restaurant. All I can say is that I would have loved to listen in. And no, the fire wasn’t caused by drinking the salty liquorice liqueur. Although I would understand if it had been.
To all thirty-somethings and older people who think they can outdrink the young crowd in a round of shots: don’t. Unless you want to end up moaning on the bathroom floor and sending even a sip of water and a slice of cucumber back to nature. Although I just heard from someone that a hangover can be even worse: vomiting through your nose. And suddenly mine didn’t seem so bad after all.
Though I have suddenly started doing a moderately dry January. Curious.
Also read:
- Can we talk about people who don’t like crusts
- If you’re horrified by chunks in your food
- Eating a banana in public always feels a little pornographic
Hand image: Salmari
