5 incomprehensible products from Albert Heijn #2
Albert Heijn is the king of bizarre, incomprehensible products. The blue shelves are packed with products that make my eyebrows shoot skyward. But guess what? Albert Heijn isn’t the only Dutch supermarket guilty of this.
Honey, don’t forget the endive ham!? (Albert Heijn)
Yes, you read that right: endive ham. A super-logical product, if you read Albert Heijn’s description: are you putting a traditional Dutch endive-and-ham meal on the table? Then this ham, specially intended for wrapping around vegetables, should not be missing. The great thing about this ham is that it’s sliced more thinly and therefore rolls easily around the endive. Hmm… If only something like thinly sliced ham existed. I wonder how often this product appears on people’s shopping lists; “Honey, don’t forget the endive ham!?”
Eggs: fresh for 7 days (Jumbo)
I love devil’s eggs. At Easter, I can easily wolf down stuffed eggs. Besides their delicious taste, a major advantage is that this dish is so easy and quick to make. That’s why I really don’t understand ready-made stuffed eggs. The filling is always a little too firm, not the silky-smooth texture you want. And what I find most worrying is that Jumbo’s stuffed free-range eggs supposedly keep for 7 days. “Fresh for 7 days”—HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! Surely they can’t still be tasty after 7 days? So people, make them yourselves; according to this recipe, it’s really easy.
This tastes like Nivea cream on a cracker (Albert Heijn)
I often eat Wasa crackers. Mmm, delicious and crunchy. Wonderful for breakfast, lunch or as a snack. However, I find the Wasa sandwich crackers less successful. I don’t understand them at all. How much effort does it take to top a cracker? Besides, I wonder how many preservatives they must contain, since the crackers remain wonderfully crunchy despite the spread. And the taste? More than anything, it resembles Nivea cream on a cracker. Enjoy!
Grated cheese for every dinner (Albert Heijn)
Grated cheese. I love it. Every dish is better with grated cheese. Preferably freshly grated Parmesan over pasta, for example, but if that’s not possible, the ready-made bags of grated cheese are great too. But dear Albert Heijn, you can overdo it. Grated cheese for pasta, grated cheese for pizza and even grated cheese for oven gratin. You gotta love marketing.
Soggy ontbijtkoek (Dirk)
My colleague Lauretta is a true Peijnenburg fanatic. As we speak, I can see a piece of ontbijtkoek on her desk, ready to be devoured. She eats all varieties, flavors and brands, but even Peijnenburg’s dubbel lekker ontbijtkoek is too much for her. Dirk is still trying to sell it, but their slogan isn’t exactly appealing: “two slices of ontbijtkoek with a deliciously creamy layer of milk.” No thanks, here in the editorial office we’ll stick to a little butter. And spread it ourselves, obviously.
Read also:
- 6 incomprehensible products from Albert Heijn
- After this, you’ll never eat scrambled eggs in a hotel again
- Snackspert looks back: these are the grossest snacks of 2019
