Is it really so difficult to make a hard seltzer that actually tastes good?

It’s been years since I came across the hard seltzer phenomenon on American websites, along with quite a few articles about its unstoppable rise over there. It made me so curious! What on earth was this miracle drink that Americans apparently took with them to every beach trip, garden party, and birthday celebration? And then it came to the Netherlands…

I found that pretty exciting. Finally, I was going to experience what the (transatlantic) hype was all about, and taste all kinds of interesting flavor combinations without – yes, without what exactly? Having to go to a cocktail bar? Getting fat? Getting very drunk? What exactly was this drink invented for (or against)?

Nothing too crazy

By now, I believe the gist of that intention is: a sort of ‘partying-light’ idea. Something along the lines of: you can also make it through the evening without liters of wine, beer and spirits and still have a good time. And don’t get me wrong; I can only encourage people to consume less alcohol. But…

Pretty damn gross

So why does it taste so awful?! Believe me, I’ve tried several by now. Usually at the end of the day around drinks o’clock, on a terrace, or walking through the city during a food walk. And I’ve tried the most supposedly distinctive flavors, definitely not just some weak ‘raspberry’ or whatever. But I stand by it: it tastes like stale sparkling water. With a teaspoon of household dust stirred into it.

Supposedly exciting

Turmeric/ginger, says the menu? You can’t taste a thing. Well, maybe as if a piece of ginger is lying two meters away, the wind blows past it, and a molecule happens to land in your mouth. With some dust thrown in, naturally. Every variety I tried: booooooring.

Choose your moment

In that case, I’d genuinely rather not drink, no problem. I have no time for this so-called idea that you can have it all: drink alcohol while simultaneously being semi-healthy (because few calories, blah blah). Nonsense: alcohol simply isn’t healthy, and if you choose to drink it, for God’s sake let it taste good. To each their own, but I’m happy to let this hype pass me by…

Also read:

• Bartender asks: stop this and it stays fun for everyone
• Strange but true: this rare disease makes you drunk from a glass of soda
• Come on, be daring, put your (expensive!) red wine in the fridge