Real life: Peggy never treats. “Who’s getting the next round?” Well, not me
Going out for dinner together or having a drink often also means buying a round for each other. For most people, this is so normal that they don’t even think about it. Peggy does think about it. But her answer may surprise you. For her, choosing not to buy rounds is a conscious decision. Never. ‘It may sound selfish, but this is how I see it: if everyone pays for themselves, then it’s fair.’
‘I’m not ashamed of it, but I also know that it isn’t seen as acceptable behavior. To many people, I’m unsympathetic and even stingy, but I prefer to call it being someone who handles money sensibly. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a fun night out just as much as anyone else, but I’m simply not someone who makes unnecessary expenses, especially when it comes to paying for others. And before you jump to conclusions: I don’t expect others to pay for me either.
Another round
Whenever I go out with friends or colleagues, I certainly feel everyone’s eyes on me when it’s time to pay. “Who’s getting the next round?” Well, not me. Sometimes there’s an awkward silence in which everyone wonders whether I’m actually going to take out my wallet.
But why would I do that? I work hard for my money, and I have other priorities than paying for a round of drinks that disappears within a few minutes. Especially with prices these days! Everyone wants to drink cocktails, and an Esma easily costs more than ten euros. I simply think that’s far too much money and therefore a complete waste.
Financial stability
It may sound selfish, but this is how I see it: if everyone pays for themselves, then it’s fair. Do you want an expensive Esma? Go ahead! I’ll have a soft drink, and I think it’s nonsense that I should then pay for your expensive drink. If everyone pays for themselves, no one feels uncomfortable, and no one takes advantage of someone else’s generosity.
I simply don’t want to be part of that implicit expectation that I should treat someone and that someone should treat me. If I choose not to buy a round, it doesn’t mean I don’t care about my friends. On the contrary, I care about my friends very much. But I also care about my financial stability, and that’s something I don’t want to sacrifice for a few cocktails.
Rising costs
Treating someone may seem like a small expense, but if you do it often enough, those costs really start to add up. And honestly, I can put that money to much better use for something that truly matters. My dishwasher is nearing the end of its life—a significant expense. People who call me stingy are wrong. For me, it’s about consciously choosing how I spend my money.
I’m convinced that if more people understood my way of thinking, they would be less inclined to reach for their wallets without thinking every time the opportunity arises.
Nothing personal
My family and my boyfriend know that it isn’t personal. It’s simply a choice I make, based on what makes the most sense to me. And honestly, I think everyone should think a little more before ordering the next round.
There was recently some trouble in our group of friends over a Tikkie that had to be paid after a night out. I was absolutely shocked by the amount. Luckily, I don’t participate in that excessive generosity.’
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Peggy’s name has been changed for privacy reasons. Her real name is known to the editorial team. Would you also like to share a personal story (anonymously!)? You can email us at info@favorflav.com
