Dining etiquette for your (first) date
Going out for dinner on your first date is a very bad idea — according to some people. Because dating is a minefield, especially at the table. Who orders what? Who takes the last fry? And when are you allowed to take something from your date’s plate? There are unwritten rules when it comes to eating on a date, whether it’s a first date or later in the relationship. We’ve listed them for you, so you won’t (ever again) make these date-dining mistakes if you’re brave enough to eat together on your first date.
Yesterday I heard someone say: ‘You’re better off going to bed with someone straight away on a first date than going out for dinner, because it takes far too long.’ If you’re into the whole ‘hard to get’ thing and have no problem lingering over a meal, then going out for dinner together is the perfect way to find out whether the person sitting opposite you is really a good match.
Be clear
Answering the question ‘What do you feel like?’ with ‘I don’t mind’ doesn’t bode well for the rest of the relationship. Of course you do mind! You have your own opinion, you don’t want to be the pleaser in the relationship (right?) and you don’t like everything — and that goes for later in bed too — so be clear. Are you in the mood for spaghetti vongole? Or perhaps spare ribs or sticky spicy aubergine fries? Just say so!
Eating pace
Don’t eat too quickly. Adjusting your pace to the person you’re eating with is a gallant move. It looks awkward when one person has already finished their plate while the other is still eating ten minutes later. Are you a fast eater? Take smaller bites and ask questions: nothing is worse than an uninterested date. Oh yes, there is: a date who spends the entire evening talking only about themselves. Yaaawn.
Ordering drinks
Enjoy yourself, but drink in moderation. A glass or two of wine is lovely before/during dinner, but be careful not to drink too much. And that chance is especially high on a first date. Because of the nerves, because you’re having fun or for whatever other reason: hold back. If you drink too much, it becomes harder to focus when the other person is speaking — an important aspect of a good date, after all. Want to prevent this? Take it easy on the alcohol and drink plenty of water in between. And if you want to impress your date with your (not-so-great) wine knowledge, here’s how to bluff your date under the table with ease.
Eating someone else’s food
Never take food from someone’s plate without asking, and wait before asking for a bite until the other person has at least had the chance to eat enough. Does the other person give you permission to have a bite? Then you’re also obliged to share your food. Sorry.
Be kind to the staff
People who are rude to the staff: what a deal-breaker. Of course you’re not like that yourself, but is your date acting like a jerk toward the staff? Then they probably won’t have much trouble treating you that way too. Fly, don’t run!
No phone on the table
Unless you want to photograph every dish — no judgements whatsoever. But otherwise: put that thing away. Why on earth would you want a distraction from the catch sitting opposite you? And even worse: why would you want to give them the impression that life beyond your table is more interesting?
The last bite
Have you ordered a shared dining menu? Then never simply take the last bite. Just ask, and then go for it anyway.
The bill
Oh dear: the grand finale of the evening! The bill arrives — what do you do? Some people always want to split the bill, even in a relationship. Personally, I don’t find that romantic. A date who orders a lot of food and assumes you’ll pay: also not great. Maybe it’s best to follow this unwritten rule: is your date fun and have you had a good evening? Treat them! Is it been a terrible evening with a date who is rude to the staff and does nothing but ramble about themselves? Then they can perfectly well pick up the bill.
