9 of the strangest Albert Heijn products (why do these exist?)
A visit to Albert Heijn is sometimes simply a day out. Not only because of the special offers, but especially because you occasionally come across truly bizarre products. From crownless pineapples and STI tests to snack vegetables that nobody ever asked for. We collected the 9 strangest Albert Heijn products that will leave you speechless (and not because you’re hungry).
1. All those different chicken fillets
Recently, we noticed just how enormous the variety of cheeses is that you can find on Albert Heijn’s shelves. But they can certainly do something with the chicken fillet section too. Chicken fillet with garden herbs, spicy chicken fillet, wafer-thin chicken fillet, chicken fillet with sriracha… But why buy spicy chicken fillet when you can simply add sambal or sriracha at home? And then there’s the price: the spicy chicken fillet costs €23.92 per kilo and the regular one €19.93. Tsk tsk….
2. Empanadas Roti Tex-Mex
South American, Surinamese and Tex-Mex all in one product name. It sounds like a round-the-world trip in a single bite, but mainly feels like cultural excess wrapped in dough. The reactions on X don’t lie: widespread confusion. Fortunately, the Empanadas Caprese have already been removed from stores…
3. STI tests next to the toothpaste
You wouldn’t expect it, but between the paracetamol and condoms, Albert Heijn simply sells an STI test. Useful? Perhaps. Surprising? Definitely. And no, it’s not a joke: Albert Heijn sells STI tests.
4. BBQ doughnuts
A hamburger with a hole in it—who comes up with this?! ‘That would be fun in a doughnut!’, someone probably cheerfully shouted during a meeting. ‘And in different flavours!’, someone else added. And so it came to pass. The rendang version contains 87% beef plus a whole list of extras, from tomato to quinoa and E-numbers. Two rings cost €3.99. That’s 20 grams less and 30 cents more expensive than a regular AH burger. In short: shrinkflation at its finest. Not to mention how downright ridiculous the idea of a hamburger on a doughnut is.
5. Pineapples without crowns
A pineapple without its crown. As if someone thought: “That green bit on top is only inconvenient anyway.” The result: a de-crowned pineapple. Does this take the crown? Um, yes.
6. Coconut spread for bread
We already knew coconut bread, but spreadable coconut paste? It sounds like a dentist’s nightmare in a jar. It might be tasty, but we’ll keep our distance for now.
7. Olives with mushrooms
For fans of both, it may be a heavenly combination, but I think quite a few people will see hell in a single container here.
8. Crispy vegetables
Pumpkin is normally loved for its soft texture. But at Albert Heijn they thought: what if we turn it into crisps? The result: crispy pumpkin. Original, at least. And it doesn’t stop there. Crispy shiitake is also available. Mushrooms… but crunchy. For when you want crisps but still want to pretend to eat ‘healthily’. Or simply can’t choose between mushroom soup and a bag of ridged paprika crisps.
9. Boiled eggs in a container
Two hard-boiled eggs. Peeled. In plastic. For when you really can’t wait three minutes or boil a pan of water.
Strange Albert Heijn products: genius or just bizarre?
Some innovations are brilliant, while others will remain a mystery forever. One thing is certain: a trip around the supermarket is never boring.
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