Geraldine ate at a Michelin-starred restaurant (and it was awful)

While on holiday in southern Italy, food writer Geraldine DeRuiter went to eat at Michelin-starred restaurant Bros in Lecce. It cost an arm and a leg, but was it worth it? Absolutely not, because it was the worst meal she had ever been served, she writes.

What can you expect when you eat at a restaurant with Michelin stars? Fantastic ingredients, special presentations, craftsmanship and all of that combined in amazing combinations. A meal you will probably never forget. Seen in that light, Geraldine DeRuiter hit the jackpot. But she will remember her Michelin experience at restaurant Bros in the Italian city of Lecce because it was the worst restaurant experience of her entire life. She wrote about it on her blog and on Twitter, and hold on tight, because Geraldine can be very funny when telling the story of her misery.

Interrogation

Geraldine describes the restaurant as some kind of underground bunker where people are interrogated about a missing ambassador’s child. Not exactly cozy, then, but boiling hot (well, southern Italy) with Drake playing through the speakers. That would make you confess to crimes you hadn’t even committed, right? The only people in the room were Geraldine, her husband and the six people in their travel party—no one else—to enjoy a 27-course dinner. Well: enjoy? And: dinner? According to Geraldine, nothing that came to the table came anywhere near resembling a meal, not even if you put all 27 courses on a single plate.

Fish cookie

A few examples: a teaspoonful of crab salad. A tiny fish cookie. Lemon foam. Oyster foam. Olive foam. (Apparently, the chef was going through a foam phase.) Menu? They don’t have one. There was a QR code Geraldine could scan, which opened a video of the chef talking about all kinds of things that had nothing to do with food. The servers could have explained what the guests could expect, but they didn’t. Was something edible? Was it inedible? Completely unclear. Could they accommodate allergies or dietary requirements? Absolutely not.

Lost in translation

An example? ‘This is made from rancid cheese,’ the waiter said, placing a small fried cheese ball in front of everyone. ‘Uh, sorry? Did you just say “rancid”? Do you mean fermented? Aged?’ ‘No: rancid.’ ‘Okay,’ Geraldine said in Italian. ‘Maybe we’re a little lost in translation. Because it can’t possibly…’ ‘Rancido,’ said the waiter. So there you are, eating rancid cheese for your expensive dollars. Another course was lemon foam, served in a plaster cast of… the chef’s mouth. No cutlery; the foam had to be licked out of the dish. Sorry? According to Geraldine, it was inspired by dubious films from the former Eastern Bloc, but not suitable as a dinner course.

No, sit down!

Were the servers drunk? Had they run out of food? Beforehand, Geraldine had read online reviews of the restaurant, and she saw that other guests had actually been served food. Which was also a little disappointing; halfway through the 27 courses, a few people in the group wanted to stretch their legs and smoke a cigarette outside, but the staff firmly directed them back to the table. One guest was served three courses consisting of a plate of nothing, because the kitchen couldn’t do anything with her food allergy. Another guest, Geraldine’s husband, had to stop by the pharmacy after the meal because his food allergy had also not been taken into account—they simply served him the food he cannot tolerate.

Good riddance

Geraldine shared her experience on Twitter and on her blog Everywhereist—with great success. Thousands of reactions, hearts and thumbs-ups, you name it. Then the Italian chef responded. He sees himself as an artist, writing that anyone can make a tasty pizza or hamburger, but that his meals belong to the higher arts. As a result, he is not always understood by everyone. Good riddance, my friend, because a dinner costing hundreds of dollars where you have to take an Aller-free pill afterward and make yourself a toasted sandwich is completely incomprehensible.

You just don’t get it

Well, not everyone shares this opinion. ‘Maybe next time you should write a review about Febo; apparently you get your money’s worth there and they have vegan bitterballen for your dietary requirements. Leave the reviews to people who are willing to spend the money and actually come for the experience,’ Merlijn said on social media. Chesney agrees: ‘I think this person isn’t cut out for going to places like that. She wouldn’t last at the Alchemist if she had to eat from a “monkey’s head”. It’s sad that people like this are allowed to post a review.’

Read also:

• Can’t be true, right? 9x awful dishes
• 12x things Starbucks baristas go absolutely crazy over
• 7 restaurant reviews written while drunk

Source: BoredPanda